Just me and pea...

I want it all

2011-12-09T19:15:00.000+08:00

It's my birthday today,I woke up feeling aches n pains, must've been the result of a combination of super abs pilates workout yesterday and way too soft pillows that provided zero support. But yes, the aches remind me that I am very much alive, alive in this earthly body. On this day as I am lost in my thoughts in a corner of the resort pool (I think better in water, must be the diver in me?) I realize I have lots to be grateful for:
For good friends
For family
For being born in the increasingly crowded and congested sg
For having the luxury of working for my next holiday
For being able to turn a head or two once in a while (and yes it's been a very long while)

The question that begs a good answer though, is, what can I do that is more fulfilling and meaningful? There are few things I am interested in, work with dogs? Work as a pseudo dive travel agent n get myself free trips to explore exotic locales? Be a wildly successful author? ;) Ahhhh it all sounds so good but also so idealistic in my-oh-so-logical-mind. My life is now on a low volatility track, very stable,very serene,very oh-how-do-I-put-it? Boring? Non exciting? Feel like something is lacking? It's all very catch-22. I want it more entertaining but I don't want to give up the stability. I want it to be more rewarding. I want it all and then some.

cough cough

2010-01-16T12:05:00.002+08:00

now...ok...this is the 3rd wkend now in 2010 that i'm spending recovering from sickness or tiredness....
Kena a bout of food poisoning, then changed jobs, trying to adapt to new environment so body stressed up and tired so probably immunity low ...then papers say there's a nasty flu virus going around, so of course i kena again...so now recovering...hiaz...

hope this means rest of the year will be healthy n well...amen..

Merry X'mas 2009!

2009-12-24T14:56:00.003+08:00

It's been a looong time since I last blogged.

My 2009 seemed to have all happened in the last six months.

I was privileged enough to do a mini tour-de-asia, visiting:
--Beijing in June (walked part of the Great Wall and touched the walls of the forbidden city)
--Bali in June(villa sankara it a
was not, think it was villa mari dade?)
--Mount Kinabalu in July (very proud of myself that I didn't pass out from the effort, now this can be checked of my list of 'been there, done that, don't think I'll do it again!)
--Kaleebso in August (our annual tioman dive/eat/sleep mecca)
--malacca pig out trip in oct (satay celup!)
--Hanoi in November (traffic is scary! water puppet show is a must see for visitors..hee hee)
--Lombok in December (beautiful plc, maybe 20yrs behind bali so have to be patient with their mana ada system? ways)

Looking forward as always to more fabulous trips in the year ahead...
starting with Mauritius in Feb =)
now how do I tell my new boss i need to take leave...hmmm......

vigilante justice?

2009-04-19T16:10:00.002+08:00

here i was minding my own biz...on a hot and humid sun afternn.....my neighbour screaming at the kid over some homework issue....
2hours later she was still at it...even me talking to C on the phone, C can hear la.......the poor kid whimpering in fear....made me and mama pea feel super uneasy...this is outright abuse lor....and not the 1st time we've heard her at it.......we went to the neighbour's door...but it was closed n we figured maybe this was not the best idea...don't want to kena blue black for being kaypoh....so went home n came up with what we hope is a better and wiser alternative.

typed up a short n sharp letter and went to slide it under the neighbour's door. Mama pea thot i shld ring doorbell then run..but i didn't think it was necessary to behave like we were doing something wrong.

reproduced here for posterity...
==================================================================
Dear Mdm of unit #XX,

We can’t help but overhear your scolding of your child for the last 2-3hrs. We realize that you are trying to coach the child in homework. We can also hear your child’s whimpering and crying.

We would like to just appeal to you to calm down and give the child some breathing space. No child that is so scared and terrified would be able to absorb what you are trying to teach.

A suggestion perhaps is to hire a tutor who would be able to guide the child in a more neutral and constructive way. Sometimes it’s hardest to listen to people who are closest to us.

We are not trying to be busybody and have considered knocking on your door to speak with you however we are not sure how you would react and would prefer this method as it is less confrontational. It is not our business how you discipline your child, we just want to gently bring to your attention that perhaps there are more effective and less painful ways for your child.
yours sincerely
your concerned neighbour
===================================================================

I hope we did the right thing, the screaming and scolding stopped after about 15mins.....then it was quiet.......just hope the child didn't/won't kena whack even more or something.....
i figure as the lady reading the letter, she will react in one of two possible ways....get even angrier and try to find out which kaypoh neighbour it is......or hopefully feel embarrassed enough to calm down and reassess the situation...

quite a exciting sunday at home i must say...must go speak w my cousin later..she's in social work...she'll be able to provide better insights into these matters....

dreamwrkz

2009-04-19T12:35:00.002+08:00

it's interesting this brain of ours....
i dreamt of walking next to a rather good looking dude through wide doors to enter a cool lobby that has this copper gong along the side wall. I woke up with a pleasant feeling...

a quick google search later and i'm quite happy with my own interpretation..:)

i think i should sleep more.....this is rather illuminating...haha...

Not that into you.

2009-02-26T22:56:00.003+08:00

Today I read an ebook at work. it's a short ebook...all of 81 pages...quite funny too....of the 8-10hours i spend at work, between big blocks of efficient work there are pockets where i used to be able to connect with the outside world (via msn) but now that my life-link has been cut off, i can just stare intently at the screen (reading the ebook...heh).

work is still work and needs to get done, my probs collg is still and will always remain an idiot, i think he can't help it, it's in infused in his blood and i suspect there are pockets of dead space n air in that brain of his, the neurons just don't seem to connect.

at the end of the day i look at our trade blotters and i still have easily double or more trades than he does....i do the admin......my unofficial title is 'structured product term sheet repackager'.........the role is so impt they can't do without me, even when i take 2 days off ....the work is left untouched coz only I have the superhero power to do it, i promptly answer queries.......i feel at times that my team is I and I am my team.......becoz of the unequal distribution of shifts, i end up working longer hrs when someone is on leave......boss has finally realised this and said i can come in 30mins later tomorrow (WOW! somebody buy 4D quick *bleah*)

we don't know where this ship is heading or even if this ship can sustain sailing on it's own, so really what's the point in complaining (officially).......our days might be numbered.....so i can only complain unofficially to those who care to listen (or read) via emails to kakis (since cannot msn) or via this page.....

And despite all this, i still manage to read an ebook at work......

happy CNY 2009

2009-01-26T10:36:00.001+08:00

gongxi fa cai!
here i am sitting in the office....with "wana" for company...
wana's abit busy now though, gliding back n forth in his tank scaring the little guppy sized goldfishes.....but i'm sure there's no place he'd rather be today just like me....

hao wu liao ooohhh.....

i read...i think....i blog?

2009-01-25T16:01:00.003+08:00

Another thought, i think blogging is good. putting thoughts into words....haven't been doing much of it lately (blogging i mean...i do think u know ...mostly..haa) . I also at some point realised that i have not been learning much, so started to pick up my reading habit again. Then i realised that i can read quite fast, mainly becoz the mrt ride to n from work is rather long, so really gives me time to skim through the pages. Although the genre of books i'm reading may not let me learn much (mostly murder/psycho killer mysteries), as least my mind/imagination is kept active and that's a good start.....

i knead, i write, i post....

2009-01-25T15:46:00.002+08:00

Had the most terrifyingly painful massage therapy session yesterday. kena kneaded n pressed until tears streaming down my face. not sure if really need to 'work' the points so hard to get them to be 'tong'. the shoulders do feel abit less tight now altho i'm aching all over and have many 'orh cheh' spots....even lathering soap on self has to be a delicate operation.
Shall give it a few days to recover n see how i feel. whether the hopeful increase in bodily comfort is worth that hour or so of pain. i think effects are similar to the lymphatic drainage massage i tried before coz now i'm just feeling lethargic n 'drugged'...so must be some detoxing effect...?
A not too comfy start to the 'niu' year....better days to come i hope.....

what is this world coming to?

2008-11-29T16:34:00.003+08:00

senseless ..... this morning i read the front page news about the young recently married s'porean lawyer who was murdered in the mumbai attack. read liao eyes also water...it's just so senseless....

as i type this...my fren tellg me on msn that she knows the lawyer and is quite affected by it n can't sleep properly....life is fragile indeed.....so stop fussing over the inconsequential things and just live...look at the state of things...pple are losing jobs....dying......we should all be happy with what we have, frens/family/job even?

heard this top trade strategy this week:" long unemployment, short morale". haiz.....seems like this will be in the money for awhile...

the loser takes the fall?

2008-09-25T21:07:00.004+08:00

I think my mental/emotional health is at risk....
tamade.......nabei.........wtf.............................!!!!!
if i could drink i'd down a couple of beers right now.......
felt like throwing in the towel today......
what's the point of all this stress......
tired n frustrated......
makes me wonder if i'm really suited to carry on with this crap........
walking away would be too easy......
staying is giving me heartache n grief......

confirmed

2008-08-28T21:22:00.002+08:00

so it's confirmed.....to "niao bu shen dan dao" pea will go.....i've mentally adjusted and accepted......carry on carry on......life goes on.....just hv to spend more time standing in mrt....

don't sweat it

2008-08-23T12:05:00.002+08:00

this week didn't bring good news, heard that a long time family friend of my mum's who is a cancer survivor and had a masectomy 20+yrs ago suffered a relapse and had to do a second masectomy, to add insult to injury, even after this operation, her cancer blood cell count is something like 24/29....while we may not be medically in the know enough to really understand what that means, but from the sound of it, it points to 'oh shit indeed'.....what can we do...what can we say....you might have everythg but if you don't have the health to enjoy it then .....

wake up call hopefully for my dad as well who's blood sugar is high and is borderline diabetic...not funny if he continues eating like a big kid....mum's understandably concerned and naggy and i also kena the side bullets and try very hard to stay out of the firing range...

i suppose....when i look at the big picture....we really shouldn't have to sweat the small stuff and it's almost allllll small stuff in the wide canvas of our life.....work....where to stay....what to eat....millions of other things we fuss about daily....all small stuff....mum said we all gotta go one day...it's a question of how u live determining how u go......so......how do we live....how do we go.....?

kang kor feeling

2008-08-17T23:49:00.003+08:00

today pea just can't talk with folks, it's like they r damn frus and m the available punching bag....maybe i m being stubborn....maybe i'm really being selfish (quite an unbelievable comment coming from dad) ....folks alternately taking shots at lil ol' me.....ok ok...i surrender....altho in my heart still got the damn kang kor feeling but looks like in this battle, i've lost n can't fight the two pple who gave life to me....looks like to 'niao bu shen dan dao' we go.... =(

Lil' miss lovely

2008-08-07T22:45:00.003+08:00

thanks to the dear smiley/frenly/sweet girl who made me my morning cuppa.....and helped me start my work day on a nice note....=)

Quietude....

2008-08-05T21:08:00.003+08:00

I'm reading yet another book and I these paragraphs got my attention...

"The resting place of the mind is the heart. The only thing the mind hears all day is clanging bells and noise and argument, and all it wants is quietude. The only place the mind will ever find peace is inside the silence of the heart. That's where you need to go."

" People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that's what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that's holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life. A true soul mate is probably the most important person you'll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. But to live with a soul mate forever? Nah. too painful. Soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then they leave. And thank God for it. Problem is, we just can't let it go."

In case your wondering, no i'm not being emo, and no it's not a self help book. The book is about a woman's travels to 3 countries and the stuff she experiences/learns along the way....

How to live....

2008-07-31T23:36:00.004+08:00

I just watched a 1hr16min long clip on youtube, think we all need a reminder every once inawhile.

valuable lessons from Randy Pausch's last lecture:

We can't change the the cards we are dealt but we can change how we play our hand
wait long enough and people will surprise you, find the best in everyone, no one is all evil, just keep waiting, people will show you their good side.
if people piss you off, you just haven't given them enough time (i'd try to remember this)
brick walls are there to let you prove how badly you want something, they let us show our dedication
never lose your childlike wonder
help others
loyalty is a 2-way street
We can' t get there alone, believe in karma, tell the truth, be earnest, apologise if you screw up and focus on others, not yourself
Don't bail, the best gold is at the bottom of the crap
do the right thing and good stuff has a way of happening
Show gratitude
Don't complain, just work harder
Be good at something, it makes you valuable
Be prepared, luck happens when preparation meets opportunity

Lead your life the right way, the karma will take care of itself, the dreams will come to you.

freaking 24th of July....

2008-07-24T22:57:00.003+08:00

today don't blog bu ke yi, it's so amazingly fucked up....
today is rather significant, coz i think i've come a long way since 10yrs ago.
today i got the keys to my new house, I may be just a part owner but hey it's still a rather big deal to me.
today i had to 'fly aeroplane' to my dinner apptm coz was in a really bad mood + pms + abit emo + kena whole load of shit i had to clear at work all coz dear fabulous problematic fart man decided it's not impt to use his brains at work and left a big ugly mess while he went away to HK for biz cum pleasure trip (which shld've hv been my privilege but let's not nit pick here...), ey wait...maybe that's not fair of me to say that...maybe he really doesn't have much of a brain to use in the 1st place.
today my dad called me to ask me to run a ridiculous errand during my lunchbreak when he was out playing golf/mahjong with his friends, sorry loh, i felt abit bad about turning it down flat but my time is worth alot more than that and i really don't have the luxury of disppearing from office as and when i like, besides collecting the keys to my 1st house is way more impt.
today i worked from 7.30am to 7.30pm...12hrs straight...ok 11hrs...discounting my rush lunch hr break to collect keys....i didn't even have time for lunch.....just munched on some chicken tenders from BK at work in between my cussing and swearing under my breath....

thanks SY for accompanying me for dinner...that was like the most pleasant thing that happened today....after dinner thought wanna take cab home....taxi queue super long coz it rained...wah lau....

boy am i glad the day if over and done with....

how do i get to....

2008-07-16T00:05:00.003+08:00

twice this week...on the way to work...walking from mrt to office building...i've been stopped by strangers asking for directions.....there are alot of pple in raffles place..... this is s'pore's army i'm talking about....every morning...i witness the wave of continuous heads going up the 3 side-by-side escalators at the mrt n the lagging throng of pple inching their way to get to the start of these escalators..n i think to myself...this is really s'pore's (financial) army....

so back to the question why ask me for directions? either there are alot of pple who are simply just lost....or i really look like i know where i'm headed....why stop me when u can stop the dude in front or behind or walking almost shoulder to shoulder beside me?

I wish i knew where i was headed....

space

2008-07-13T22:02:00.003+08:00

ok...so the wkend is over again.....couple of thoughts....
1) camping in comfort at my parallel universe fren's house was rather enjoyable...thks for having me!...

2) we r definitely not as young as we used to/or would like to be...... coz after just 2 late nights in a row, i feel like my whole body is protesting....the tiredness is not something that i can shake off.....and the thought of yet another loooong work week ahead ain't helping....i think i need a solid solid massage to knead out the kinks n the aches.....

3) space...or the lack there-of.....my folks understand i need my space...as i'm typing this, i've conquered a desk in a corner of the living room and so far no one has come near me...think i'm emitting this 'leave me alone or i might bite your head off' vibe....besides physical space.....i think too much noise just gets to me.....i need to be able to hear myself think...even if i am just stoning...i need to hear it.....it's therapeutic...i like my own thoughts....noise....esp of the kiddy sort...causes my brain to go into involuntary spasms n cramps n leaves it in a permanently knotted headache mode that only 2 panadols might alleviate....not funny....

I might sound ungrateful...but unless u grew up like me....u wouldn't get it..this need for personal space..i'm thankful for my folks...that we hv a place to crash in even while we take our time to sort out where to move to next....i just really really hope....it has enough space.....

good grief

2008-07-07T20:55:00.003+08:00

the source of much grief ....n veins threatening to pop in the neck.....for my folks the past few days....i think kids in our time were a much easier bunch to manage....

bali breakdown

2008-07-06T22:49:00.003+08:00

this sunday i'm really feeling the low....of the impending full work week ahead...the beautiful escape is over...the surrealism of last week has died down...back to reality.....is there a better way? we were back just this week but it feels like months ago....life cannot get back to normal....the heart and spirit is restless....

i need another distraction.....another holiday.....another escape.....another something......this must be what mild depression feels like....

whatz the solution? if i knew i wouldn't be here still....

siow liao

2008-06-17T21:47:00.002+08:00

as of next mth.....i'll be having 2 very young n boisterous cousins visit for a freaking 1.5mths......it doesn't help that our current living space has been more than halved.....already i'm feeling like my folks are getting in my face and cramping my style.....add 2 more kiddos to the mix.....ohhh no no no....pea is soooo not liking the very idea of it......

big cork

2008-06-03T22:44:00.003+08:00

now now..get your head outta the gutter, it ain't what you're thinking...

i need to requisite for a very large cork, seeing that foul air is still being let out in the office, now almost daily, i really need to get a cork n the help of a good pair of hands to shaft it up his rear end. And since this arsehole is a rather large one, pls get me a supersized one....failing which maybe a hitman will do a much better job?

hiaz....the shit i put up with....

North-ling...

2008-05-27T22:21:00.004+08:00

night #5 in my temporary new north-easterly home. Actual distance to town seems shorter, unfortunately travelling time via bus/mrt is just as long ley. bummer. Since it's still about 1hr, i'd much rather travel eastwards. Maybe I'm just used to the east la. Don't think i have much of an issue adjusting to new home, after a false start on sat when i woke up at 8am due to construction noise, it was back to normal on sunday when i managed to sleep till 10.30am, that means my system has adjusted pretty quickly.

Work is droning on and more stuff seems to be piled on my plate. The annoying farker let off another one of those major stinkers of a fart today in office. As with people, sometimes it's the silent ones that are the killer. wah lau ey, some decorum would be much appreciated loh. Either have the decency to walk outside to the toilet or shaft a freaking cork up yours!...nabei.... >=(

doctor i am not

2008-05-20T21:23:00.002+08:00

today i found out from pea mama who found out from a neighbour that in my estate lives the ceo of a big well known s'pore medical group...and also in another house a top oncologist in one of s'pore's hospitals....wah....my 1st thought was :"wah..so 'powder' ah".....mum said :"all top guns(while holding up thumb)"....to which i told her very much tongue in cheek:"your daughter top dealer in f****s" wa ha ha...=P

selamat datang ke bali....?

2008-05-13T23:38:00.002+08:00

ok ok.....it's booked.....i finallly decided that the additional cost for the ticket is worth it...to buy my peace of mind...that i'm secured to go for a 5day holiday with a bunch of fun pals....and i can leave the real world behind for awhile...we'll all suffer post-holiday blues for sure when we get back..but heck it right....life is short...work hard..play hard....

dix will buy me a drink (i dun want beer bintang) and shuyi will buy me makan =P.....the rest are welcome to chip to blanjah me other stuff ....heee heee...i feel so lurvvved...haa

over and out...

I wish you exciting times ahead

2008-05-06T23:13:00.005+08:00

Today i listened to my philosophical doctor as he drew my blood.....expounding on the virtues of living a peaceful life. How in the ancient 3 kingdom story, the enemy would tell his opponent:"I wish you exciting times ahead".....meaning wishing upon his opponent a time of turbulence and war....doc went on to say that when he was younger...he dreaded mundane tasks...considering them boring...but now he cherishes these times as he feels that he is more at peace now....no need for unneccessary stress and excitement.

What's worrying is that I am at least 20yrs younger than him but already share his some of this feeling.

Today I also packed another section of my past 20yrs into a cardboard box. some things i found I don't even remember I had/kept, so figured there'll be no loss to throw them out. With this downsizing of space...there's only room for the essentials....old photos however, really brings back memories and makes me wish i could turn back time....I miss the pooches... leslie the jap spitz and sa-kwa's the one doing the doggy yoga.

a piece of pea

2008-04-21T22:10:00.003+08:00

recently i've been feelg disgruntled again....ya ya..so what's new....it's like everyone wants a piece of me...n there ain't enough to go round....especially today....something's gonna give....n my piece of mind is the 1st to go....haiz

what can i say ...concentration just not there..lapse in judgement...

my new catch-phrase: " dot dot dot...smiley face :)
when really boh weh kong n have to grin n bear it...

surprisingly i actually don't feel as bad as i think i should over today's incident. ha...think it's the boh-chapness in me that is acting up liao...

... :)

The good ol' days....14yrs later....

2008-04-06T12:49:00.008+08:00

The good old days - taken in 1994

The good days now...with a new addition.....taken yesterday ..5Apr 2008, it's a rare photo op that we just couldn't let slip, will definitely have more chance now that our dear bay bay is coming home...All looking good I must say! =)

concerts n kopi

2008-04-06T12:44:00.004+08:00

been a rather busy week...thanks to my parallel universe friend, we got to attend the maroon 5 concert which was really loud ..and really good...ears were still ringing the next day...

attempted to blade on sunday, got one blade on n it started to rain, so what was meant to be an exercise session turned out to be a sit down la kopi session...weather's been rather crazy.

It's time...

2008-03-16T14:34:00.006+08:00

Did some clearing of stuff, found a collection of at least 10yrs worth of old cards/letters, some so old, i don't even remember the person who sent it, many from very good friends who have seen me throught thick and thin, some so sentimental, reading it still brings tears to my eyes, it's time however to be out with the old and in with the new... This is but a small selection of the overflowing-shoe-box-full collection I acquired. In this day of electronic mail and greeting cards, it's gonna be a dying trend. Somehow, technology still can't beat the self-penned thoughfulness of a card.

Ah well...into the trash it goes....think it's good to clear the clutter...in every sense of the word....to move forward...to probably a smaller place with lesser space....for renewal....for clarity of mind and heart..."shi(4) shi(2) hou(4) le(4).....

ka lang ka bok...

2008-03-01T12:59:00.002+08:00

what a strange few days....thursday was dam ka-lang-ka-bok for me, overslept and had to rush....only had time to brush teeth/wash face/pee before heading for work, amazing i still made it on time. Half way thru the day tho' my phone konked off, the battery was flat, must've been becoz the screen was flashing for half an hr in the morning for some strange reason...feel so lost la, think we really depend too much on our mobiles, gone are the days we can recite most of our friends numbers.....i also think i'm 'losing it' abit coz such things don't happen to me one loh....abit thrown off centre type of feeling.....haiz...also dunno what to say la...at least no harm no foul la...

Also found out that after mama pea's pep talk, she also voiced her concerns to my adoptive folks, who tried to act blur (I hope successfully) and act surprised and field questions regarding my self imposed situation....must be some pre-mature old age crisis mama pea is going through la.

Feel so drugged out lethargic these last 2 days...today can open eyes at 9am, then roll over sleep somemore...open eyes again at 10am..then roll other side n sleep somemore...finally woke up at 11am to princess' phonecall to jio us over for a rare pasta treat. =)

what is the best thing to do on a cool, rainy saturday? make a cup of hot tea....kick back, relax and watch a dvd....

where will pea go?

2008-02-26T22:08:00.003+08:00

It's done it's done...after some anxious hrs waiting on the part of a kanchiong papa pea....pea's ulu home is sold today....so in 3mths....pea's home of the last 19yrs will be no more a 'home' to pea. Quite sad actually, will definitely miss this place....will make the most of it before we move..... A foodie gathering is in order.....date to be confirmed....let it all sink in first....thank you to my 'adopted' dad for a job well done. As a true blue fisherman would say "nab shot!" ;)

in the essence of this mantra a good friend once lived by "what will pea do?"
it's now a question of "where will pea go?" ...

changes

2008-02-24T22:41:00.002+08:00

change is in the air.....
i think this yr is a yr full of new surprises and changes......carpe diem should be the rule to live by.....on a different note, kena 'pep talk' by mama pea today....she was thinking out loud that she's worried that i might grow old alone. said it's best to have a partner or failing that to stay with a good friend. (i was thinking can keep a pet dog what..heh..but thought i'd better keep that thought to myself) . She also said i should take action n be abit aggressive (**grrrrr*** : !!!) haa... that boys nowadays won't do the chasing, so if i see someone i like i should make the first move....(i think I need a club to clobber the guy n drag him back to my cave or somethg?...)
all this just when i thought my folks were pretty cool with things...ah well.....if i start calling u guys, don't panic ok? maybe i just need room and board when i'm old....

Happy Ren Ri!

2008-02-13T20:56:00.003+08:00

Was one of the first few hundred on the s'pore flyer...so lucky hor, those corporates really paid an exorbitant amount for clients to go up n loh hei high up in the sky in capsules with funky blue lighting which makes all the food look rather unappetising.

Lion dance in office today was rather entertaining, the lion spat out the vege which nearly hit me so means I should have super duper good luck this yr....huat ah!

of stairs n casinos....

2008-02-07T11:56:00.000+08:00

Gong hey fatt choy!
It's now 12noon on the 1st day of CNY. I'm sitting at my desk at work. The only one here in this bank that is spread over at least 6 floors.
Been here since 8am, have finished archiving emails, re-writing my messy address book, ate my cup noodles, tv is on, nothing much to watch, got cable but only those news channels so not very helpful either. Received one phonecall that is some weird cheena recorded message, so i just hang up. Normally wouldn't log in at work, but i've got 4more hours to go.....so might as well do something.

Couple of nights ago, I again had a damn weird dream. Wanted to blog about it but couldn't find time till now.
I dreamt me and at least 2 others (faceless in the dream, not sure who) were leaving my ex-collg house warming gathering. Instead of taking the lift, we took the stairs instead. As we got nearer to ground level, the look of the flats started to change, from very new, pleasant looking clean flats to dunk and musty, dark looking staircase landings and old old wooden doors. Remember feeling rather un-nerved in the dream so made haste down the stairs.

Finally got to the last series of steps and it ended with a door. When i opened the door, i saw before me a huge room, kinda like below me, in a huge pit sort of. And the best part is, this room is full of pple, it's actually a casino!!! And there were no steps to get down to it, so instead you gotta kinda take a leap and sort of glide weightless over the people's heads and land somewhere near the front glass doors. Then the dream ended or at least that's what i can recall. Haaa...Dam weird.

Relief.

2008-02-04T22:21:00.001+08:00

M glad the day is over, it was busy and frustrating ....frustratingly busy?.......but at least i feel exonerated. Ming nian hui gen hao, huat ah!.

Pissed & mentally pernad pea

2008-02-02T00:30:00.000+08:00

it's already almost 1am....i'm still feeling unsettled from my work day, which ended up being really messy and irritating. Made a couple of error judgement calls which landed myself in a rushing and juggling act to handle 2 parties of visitors and got myself involved in a trade issue which really shouldn't have been picked up by me in the 1st place. *grrrrrrrrrr* Maybe i'm just looking for someone to blame (probs collg of course who else n today feel like blaming boss n broker also) or i'm really losing my better sense of judgement n concentration. Maybe it's like what i heard once, you can be good at something that is not right for you. I just need a break from all this crap. It really shouldn't be so complicated n stressful loh. I can't decide if I feel more irritated or maligned, just feel like wah lau dam 'bu zhi de'.

As for bonus, at least i got some, but pardon me for appearing ungrateful for i feel that the 'cost' personally for me is too high. So that's why i don't feel the least bit ecstatic. Haiz.....how to make things better? I think there are pple who, unlike me, are totally stress-free and they are oblivious to the stress/extra load that the pple around them have to bear to compensate for their perpetual ignorance-is-bliss state.

To quote an ex-teacher, i feel abit like i'm 'caught between the devil and the deep blue sea'. Of course, being a diver, i'd choose the deep blue sea. Think it's time for a trip soon. I need to block out this world even for just a little while. Thank goodness for the wkend!

shedding round 2

2008-01-31T22:23:00.001+08:00

ok now that i got some colour back, i'm peeling again....i think i might've been a snake in a past life...

Anything but sedate...

2008-01-26T17:19:00.000+08:00

what a roller coaster week at work, as it is, 2 person shouldering 4 persons work was already siong enough, throw in the crazy week the stock markets had this week, it's a real formula for exhaustion. I was working up to my eyeballs trying to keep afloat, even the good news boss had for me ended up to be a rather non-event as i really didn't have time to sit down n digest it. i think he went away thinking that i'm probably not a very appreciative person.

The week was further marred by the re-emergence of an old health problem that is like a stumbling block that drags me down. Just when i think i'm getting better it rears it's ugly head. It's frustrating and I only wish there was a quick fix solution to make it go away for good. I don't think quitting is a solution and the only thing is to try to 'take things easy'. well as we all know that is easier said than done and character wise, I don't think i can do it la, i'm abit more 'im-cheem' and proud to act an idiot at work, i already have to handle my fair share of those dudes.

*yawn*.....i'm just back from my slowest 20 lap swim ever...trying to exercise and soak in some sun while not jacking up the heartrate. I think being under flourescent lighting and facing 4 radiation-emitting screens all day is making me look rather pale and greenish. So today was good, at least i think i got some colour back...

Sedate

2008-01-20T21:50:00.000+08:00

i've been advised by my doctor to re-evaluate my life and perhaps migrate to australia or new zealand and/or opt for a more sedate/sedantary lifestyle, probably at the cost of lower pay in order to gain better health. I think I'm sedate enough, anymore sedate i'd be six feet under. Besides, I find it hard to envision any job that has zero stress. Think the only way to go about it is to not work at all. For that however, i'd need money, which means i gotta find someway to strike toto/marry well. Either of those options materialising, might actually cause me to have a heart attack, which essentially means a different type of stress, so.....not really solving the problem either ey? =P

Slither

2008-01-08T21:51:00.000+08:00

I'm shedding. Shedding dry flaky skin. Snakes shed their skin when they outgrow it. Does this mean I'm growing taller? (probably just wider) . I look like I have a bad case of whole body dandruff. Gotta avoid wearing black for awhile. It's 'snowing' at pea's plc but it's nowhere near as cold. haaa...=P

happy 2008!

2008-01-04T16:20:00.001+08:00

m back from a 3wk vacation to LA. Didn't quite make enough money in vegas thatz why have to come back to this life...haa..
trying to adjust back to the humidity with my nose blocked and fighting jet lag, been staring my computer for the past 2hours while stealing glances at my comfy bed (eyeballs aching from the multi tasking)...but noooo...gotta tahan till tonite.

Tis was a rather chill out (10-15degrees weather) trip with quite abit of shopping n eating thrown in for good measure. I even ambitiously brought my running shoes which i got to use all of ONCE in the 3 weeks..heh...ok ok maybe twice...2nd time coz i used it to go up bear mountain to go tube-bing...quite fun. For the most part the daily most challenging thing i had to do was figure out when to brave the temperature n take a shower. Now that i'm back to a brand new year...gotta start planning things to look fwd to eh? kaleebso? when??????? safari when???? strike lottery when????

Merry xmas n a happy new 2008 everyone. Huat ah! =)

Work...pea....over n out...

2007-12-11T23:18:00.000+08:00

I'm finally done with work for 2007. However i do not feel elated...on the contrary i feel rather tired (so what's new) and irritated. Had to hang around to wait to meet a dude for kopi n find out that my initial suspicions are correct. Then i had a lousy dinner n couldn't get a cab from the mrt so had to take a bus home....(hike fees somemore la...still doesn't solve problem what)

On another matter, the dream i blogged about turned out to be a topic of amusement for my friends. They even set up a group for it, intent on dramatising the whole issue. Is it really for my benefit (I already told them it's stoopid so just drop it) or for theirs?

I also at some point dreamt of a black lil' labrador puppy which spoke n told me his name is 'chewy', but i don't see them rushing to post ads and go to spca to find this cute pooch. Since hints aren't working, maybe this will. The pea doesn't get angry easily, i'm still not angry, however it now takes v lil' to get on pea's nerves, and this is starting to. Enough said.

Dilbert's world

2007-12-10T21:06:00.001+08:00

Dilbert has a knack for hitting the nail on the head sometimes...

"Careers are what vikings and blacksmiths had. Your "career" will be a series of random jobs that are each somewhat less horrible than the one before. Eventually, when you have changed jobs enough times, you will be old".

"If money doesn't buy happiness, you might wonder why the people who are paid the least are always the most disgruntled."

"If you have worked at your company longer than the other people in your department, chances are that you are not one of the "good people"."

hmmmm..... =

pin cushion...

2007-12-06T21:10:00.000+08:00

Today was yet another super busy day...surprising after 2weeks of relative calm.
boss was in town for meetings n appraisals. Had my round...basically not telling me much except thanks for my support n hope for my continual support. (hope la..hope somemore...no money no talk manz....we shall wait n see)

I was glad i didn't have to be the one who stabbed probs collg in the back...as it turned out....many pple have done it already, the feedback gathered definitely didn't do him much good....so i just needed to nod in agreement and assist in pushing the dagger deeper...mwahahahhaa!!! =P but at least boss was honest n knows what is happening...which is somewhat a lil' relief.

I guess appraisals are just a must do thing where what u put on paper doesn't really make that much of a difference, but at least there's a chance to voice out certain things without it sounding like a threat. Where the fella in charge still tries to draw a seemingly brighter picture with the shades of grey on his palate. ah well....glad that is over and done with....

i want to go holiday!

2007-12-04T22:17:00.000+08:00

what a bizarre n slightly irritating day....I realised that the problem with being remembered for a job well done is that you are also remembered when they've got a problem they need solved...*bleah*...

had 2 ex-bankers who joined another bank call me for help, to teach that side bank dealer what to do...wah lau...dam kok.....talking to the dealer lagi kok....thought he was a junior staff...found out the fella actually abit 'higher' up than that....then lagi bizarre thing? the fella ask to meet up...like huh....whatever...m already in holiday mood...don't really give a damn la...

after settling all that..in the afternoon kena another issue.....a troublesome banker gimme problem again....cannot get his way then quote my name say confirm with me already....kana sai loh..confirm w me..who am i? not his boss to give him approval also what...neh use brain....hiaz...give up....so i left at 5.15pm n headed home la....fark it....just countdown the days to my break...can't wait...

xiang dang nian.....

2007-11-27T21:47:00.000+08:00

This is more for myself than anything else...thought i shld've this archived somewhere in cyberspace history....=P

This picture appeared in the straits times yonks ago.....my aunt spotted it first and called to wake my mum up to go look...

"there's a part for everyone...in this land where we belong...there's a part for one and all...." Those were the days of patriotic propaganda tunes....

flea fly mosquito

2007-11-27T21:17:00.000+08:00

last week went by rather peacefully....today....i'm rather annoyed....having to deal with waste time IT problems and pattern chooting probs collg ....didn't feel better even after my gym workout.....not sure if it's the general tiredness...or low glucose levels....couldn't shake off the thorn in the side feeling...gobbled down dinner mostly silently.....in the 10-15mins drive home...when the food had a chance to travel to my tummy and the signal travel to my brain...i felt only minisculy better....hmph....how la like dat?

On another note....looks like one collg will be FLEE-ing the coop soon....which leaves me wishing i could FLY to my holiday sooner and stay away longer....coz when i get back it'll just be me coping with the annoying MOSQUITO of a probs collg...suck blood manz...

Limbo...

2007-11-22T21:42:00.000+08:00

I'm feeling damn strange .....cut off from the world ....in a kind of limbo state.....not really feeling much.....thought i'm not that tired..been sleeping early...but on the way home on the mrt...i got a seat a few stations from my stop ...closed my eyes n konked out....so i must still be tired.....parallel universe fren also called me today....to ask if i fell off the face of this earth ....haa...no la...just trying not to fall off my chair...

order order!

2007-11-22T21:31:00.000+08:00

Many times in life, what you see is not always what you get. Case in point.

kooo kuuuu....

2007-11-13T20:44:00.000+08:00

ok ok..i shan't bitch about work n tbk today...or this week ( i try i try)....
2 nights ago i had a strange dream...i dreamt i held hands w a ok looking dude..this dude kinda resembles this local actor who made the transition from channel 5 to channel 8 ...not say dam hamsom but some say quite tao....think some can guess "TPH"...heh heh...i also rmbr in the dream...i kinda know i am in a dream and thinking to myself..hey his height not too bad....
methinks m losing some of my marbles...
**cue in twilight zone music**

Achy breaky

2007-11-11T10:30:00.000+08:00

Had a very bad muscle pull? ache in my left shoulder..also don't know caused by what..can't be my new watch =) so heavy right, feeling all numb and tingly at my fingertips....must b a hazard of working at a desk all day.......went massage on sat....much better...but now the ache is in my right shoulder....haiz...lao liao...... need to overhaul...

idea drought...

2007-11-04T16:43:00.000+08:00

countdown...about 5 more weeks to long needed holiday. Been surfing websites for next yr's trip ideas..i need a sure fire way to earn alot of money in a short time(don't we all)...coz all the places i wanna go costs quite a bit of moolah ley....

my ex-bank Hi 5 alumni also facing the same work dilemma, all work until dam sian...feel like getting out, but without a gd idea of what else is feasible/lucrative enough to venture into....In the absence of a grand plan, we can only resort to weekly toto investment..at least we try...dun try no hope..got try got hope...

i try to remind myself that i am trying to chiong n make more money so at least i can hv enough to invest in stuff...i feel like i working quite hard but not seeing the moolah ley.....something is not quite working out...hmmm...ideas ideas ideas? i need some good ideas....

Nagging irritation

2007-10-31T21:39:00.000+08:00

today i got pek chek w probs collg again...it's like talking to a wall....towards end of the day i notice he still didn't do the stuff he's supposed to do...tried reminding him that it wasn't done yet..but his reply just totally way off the mark loh....it's so ridiculous it's amazing......i decided i didn't want any part of it and left for home. heck it la..not my problem...why shld i hv to clean up his mess............But on the mrt home...i felt i couldn't live with myself if i just let it slide and it escalates into a bigger prob 2mr which i might end up having to settle (coz he will conveniently be on leave again)...i sms-ed the other more experienced collg for help....at least now i think the prob is being taken care of (i hope!)

it's been couple of hours since i left office...had dinner...had a cup of nice calming honey rose-bud tea....read a couple of chapters of harry potter....but still the naggy irritated feeling has not left me....*sigh*

the hunted

2007-10-22T21:35:00.000+08:00

if only they issued hunting licenses...today i really felt like murdering someone....wring the fella's neck..no actually won't wanna dirty my hands....blungeoning him with a sledgehammer sounds more apt...mwaaa haaa....=P nabei..what a tiring and frustrating and irritating day...

zonked out...

2007-10-13T12:53:00.000+08:00

oct 9 this week marked the 1yr of me working in this plc. As i sat on the mrt to work with my ipod plugged into my ears to block out the world, i was thinking to myself...think i need some inspiration ah...maybe shld take a page out of my "zen" fren's book and take a whole yr off ah.....it really sounds like a tempting idea. I've been feeling so exhausted at work , i'm beginning to wonder if this is really for me, how come the rest seem ok ah? maybe i'm just not cut out for the stress...but then again i think i'm doing a rather good job ley...

how nice if i could really rest....2day wkends just ain't enough to undo all the knots in my back n shoulders n mind manz....i began to fantasize...wah...if i can go LA this dec....dive palau in feb.....perhaps go safari later next yr....surely will think of other plcs worth visiting....but ahhhh...won't i need loads of moolah since these trips really really cost alot? ....was then prompted to walk to the nearest singapore pools outlet .....

think i'm just tired, let's see if i feel recharged after dec trip....in the meantime....try to pace myself ...no point too onz the ballz also la...wtf...feel so zonked i feel drugged....

A wtf day...

2007-10-04T21:49:00.000+08:00

It's been more than 2hrs since I left work, yet i'm still feeling "chuan". It's been a very wtf day.
As if we didnt' have enough multi-tasking to do with orders coming in from email/bloomie/phone, now we gotta check this farking silly new system that constantly must click on refresh and the refresh takes like 10-15 secs...wah seh...I thought new systems r meant to make jobs easier not add unnecessary load and frustration?? haiz...plus the new screens have not arrived, so still multi-tasking numerous windows on two small screens...think i might need to go for re-lasik if this continues...

I have become v edgy and impatient...my fuse is getting shorter...mean-ness doesn't become me...it's however easier to say than do.....i try to remind myself that it's just a job just do my best and not fret over it....but i do get sooooo irritated at the slightest thing/person....think i might develop high blood or hypertension manz...which reminds me...think i'll go massage again this wkend since desaru trip is called off...

I feel abit bad for ignoring some pple, just not in the mood to entertain over boring lunch w scarce little common topics. My lunch hour is short enough, I need to get away n eat in peace w frens loh...

and oh...the library board wants to collect $1.50 from me for books they claim i still have since 2001...which I'm quite sure i've done the book-drop thingy in 2001 loh...hallooo...2001??! i rest my case...

xiao peng you...

2007-09-30T00:53:00.000+08:00

Since i'm bloggin, must as well add this story....especially for the benefit of those frens in foreign lands who might find comfort in lil' references of home...=) u know who u r so pls leave a comment.haa

last sat i waited rather long under the hot afternoon sun for a taxi, it finally came and as i got in the conversation got a lil ' strange and comical :"
cabbie:"miss, do u feel warm?"
me:"yes, it's quite hot outside"
cabbie:"strange ley, i don't feel anything"
me:" ??? errr...ya i waited quite long in the sun so quite hot"
(i'm thinking at this pt that this dude abit strange ley)

After asking me for my destination and preferred route,
cabbie:" so....you don't need to go school today ah"?
me:"???? errr no need, i already many years don't need to go school already" (anyway it's a freaking wkend and i was dressed in tshirt and denium skirt with my sunnies on loh)
cabbie:" oh shi ma?! ni kan qi lai hai siang xiao peng you lei"
me: " =0 "

at this point i concluded that this dude is definitely weird so just ignore him and stare out the window until i reached my destination...

Drooly P...

2007-09-30T00:42:00.000+08:00

ok...so it's 12.30 am in the morning and the effects have worn off and the panadol has kicked in. I'm feeling drowsy but that's normal. 3hrs ago we all had some new zealand rose wine that lao pa bought, it tasted alright, luckily i had only a few small sips...thought it was just me since i can't drink but my heart was pounding darn fast and a sickening headache came over me...while i gulped water and complained...lao pa n my parallel universe friend also started getting headaches. It definitely was something in the wine.

It took quite awhile ...i had to drink more water and like ben favourite saying 'lie down for awhile'....whole body felt dam heavy....limbs felt heavy to move...brain activity slowed to a crawl..even eye blinking was slower than what i was used to. As i lay on the sofa on my side, i felt that if i breathed through my mouth, ie. left my mouth open, i think i would've drooled....I think this must be what it feels like to be stoned or stooopid or both. Of course tis' quite a new experience for me...haha....a fren has told me that i've become more impatient and edgy so moving so slow and stoopidly definitely wasn't my style...

Only "lao ma" felt perfectly fine....either she's immune to whatever substance was in the wine or she's a freaking alcoholic la...no effect whatsoever la...well done...

Tau Kwa ?

2007-09-22T11:13:00.000+08:00

This week met up with a friend i haven't met in many months, his daughter is already almost 1yr old. How time flies. At the same lunch, another fren came to distribute her wedding invites. Again...how much things can change and develop in the span of less than a year. I am happy for her and do indeed see a change, she's alot more open and easier to have a conversation with. (ie. has become more normal and personable la)

It didn't help my case when she's the owner of a dating agency and he is so curious about it he's asking a dozen questions, i felt like i was being "A-ed" (if u don't understand what that means..neh mind). Thankfully my dating-agency-fren is so happy and pre-occupied with her happy busy life now she's off my case....not too sure about the other guy though, just received an email from him of sumiko tan's article about "a woman needs a man"....like...okayyyy..i get your point..i know you mean well....but alllo?? want me to go out on the street and club some random guy on the head and drag him back to my cave is it? Even without going the primitive route, i don't believe in spending good moolah to meet pple, sorry la..itz just a personal opinion, i'd rather spend the dough on a good holiday with pple who's company i know i will be comfortable in and enjoy.

that concludes this week's random rant.

pop quiz question: if pea were to be a high ranking minister, what would her title be?
(hint: think in hokkien, or just refer to the title of this post) ....my gd fren the official 'last ironman of s'pore's 1st ironman race" came up with it.

Amm chio or TL worthy?

2007-09-07T23:58:00.000+08:00

It's been awhile since i blogged, some big guy said must make pea either amm chio or TL then she will blog about it one...

Before i forget, I read an article about facebook allowing search engines like google/yahoo etc to access n find your info. So better go change your privacy settings (article says u hv about 1mth to do it) unless you have an exhibitionist streak, in which case, you might wanna go beautify your site.

The pea has been really busy and hectic at work..only this week has been rather manageable.
I got abit annoyed at my probs collg (ie. collg w some probs la) , I have an issue about how slow motion he answers the phonecalls and how buay zi dong he is sometimes. The nickname given to him behind his back is really apt --tua pek kong(TPK)...sometimes dunno what he doing la..really sit there like TPK loh, like to give instructions somemore. Most of the time i ignore la, esp when he dunno head or tail n chap ji kah. Other than that i guess he's ok la, we keep to ourselves mostly, afterall guess it's just a job n we all working for much the same thing.

Found out this bank is really like what i feared rather stingy when it comes to payout. So really quite sian la....so stress for what right? What to do, some is better than none. Gotta hang in there for now...next yr then see how.

nothing amm-chio-able to blog about...unfortunately...

facebook?

2007-08-29T22:25:00.000+08:00

Blogs will be even less updated now that our lil' community has discovered facebook. Most of stuff in there are quite useless actually but can be rather entertaining...so are you on facebook?

hanging tough

2007-08-23T22:32:00.001+08:00

wah..dam shack ley...cannot go on like this ....colleagues taking turns to go on leave....think about it already dam siong...i feel physically ill today manz....i think m also too juak plus the added work load today didn't help.......aching all over .....mentally n physically super tired.....
Can't imagine slogging like this till 62yrs old..wait ..now itz 65? cannot la...anybody got any better bright ideas?...

single emo pea

2007-08-18T14:21:00.000+08:00

emo pea's gonna bitch again...freaking tough past 2 days man with the markets in free fall mode and one colleague on leave. Running around like a monkey and not getting the peanuts...at the end of friday felt like just sat through intense 8hr exam like dat..brain cramped, eyes strained, neck and back aching like mad....

plus i got a call from the organiser of the palau trip saying that a dec trip looks highly workable. Happy at first until i find out that the catch is i should try to find myself a room mate coz the rest are all even numbered so easier to split cost if they should wanna charter the whole boat. My thinking is what is this big deal about having the whole boat to ourselves?? As it is, a 7confirmed person booking would make us the majority on the boat already, why give ourselves the headache of trying to find the extra 5 pax and esp 2 who are willing to pay alot more for the bigger state room?

Plus my peeve is that if I'm freaking gonna pay like more than 4K to go for this trip, why should I have to bother about finding myself a roomie?? I don't have an issue rooming w another guest what...i just wanna go dive n enjoy myself.... I'm a F.I.T (free independent traveller)...being single my fault is it? (ok itz partly my fault but i neh had to pay a price for it until now and i'm v sore abt the whole thing)

Was just flipping newspapers just now and i don't get it but why do all the new condo developments look the same? it's like they all came out of the same design firm using the same glass and steel materials. If I as a buyer is gonna pay like 1mio or more (wish i have that kind of money now) to buy the place, then it at least better have something special or unique about it. It REALLY all looks the same! and it's beginning to look alot like HK! eeeks...

I'm emo today..everything seems to bug me...the cool weather is the only respite...

ohhhh great..the ktv 'chao-siah' aunty in the opposite house is at it again...she needs her own sound proof box man..so she can actually hear how bad she is...

hanging out...

2007-08-12T12:58:00.000+08:00

Went in early to work at the F place on national day knowing that I had alot of trades that need to be handled. Arrived at 7.30am only to find out to my irritation that my staff pass does not allow me entry on public holidays!! and who can i call for help at this time in the morning when it seems like i'm the only one there??...basically woke up at least 3 colleagues trying to get hold of the mobile phone number of the facilities dude whom the security guard said has already arrived n is somewhere in the building (so helpful loh).

Finally managed to get in at 8am. Applied for approval to have my staff pass access extended to 24hrs ( i had to apply loh, like i want to work on wkends loh, doesn't make sense loh)....Was told since i am not required to work night shifts, they only programmed a mon-fri access for me. Wah lau. Think after i sompa that i will not steal the company arowanas and stingrays, they shld grant me the access la. like hellooooo..some common sense here??

Anyway realised that 'maria's job actually quite tiring and time consuming ah...must wash clothes...hang clothes...keep clothes..iron clothes....vacuum floor...mop floor...wah seh...where got time??

At least we all had a gd dinner gathering last evening...shabu shabu + lamb shank + chicky wings (which my neighbourhood stealth feline theives seem to savour) + batalong salad( at least I thot of a balanced diet)....Conversation was interesting and mostly rather loud, ranging from silly property investments...to gay smurfs...electric company...muppets...(it's scary how much some can remember)...weird and problematic frens .....emoteens.....emopea (i still dun get it, i where got emo lah) and my famous american time story was again repeated for the benefit of the uninitiated....

9 years...9 lives?

2007-08-06T23:50:00.000+08:00

forgot to invest in toto today, totally slipped my mind. did anyone win the 5.5mio jackpot? website taking too long to load ah. Hope at least some friends won something?

been quite a choboh weekend. very chill...v relaxing...until i started thinking of the work week then not so chill...not so relaxed.

Time really flies...it's 9 yrs since graduation among other things. On the one hand doesn't quite feel like it's been so long, on the other, I sure feel darn jaded. Am I the only one? So much has happened, yet I feel i can't remember alot of stuff. I dunno whether is it the time warp feeling or just a case of aging braincells. Think more of the latter. If we all had a chance to do it all again, would we still make the same choices? I think so. We are the sum of all our choices and experiences....there is of course plenty of room for improvement but I think by and large I am pretty happy with myself =) aren't we all? heh..anyway...
Think I shouldn't ponder so much at this late hour ah, must preserve those greying cells...

Angelic vacation

2007-08-02T23:26:00.000+08:00

I think my guardian angel took leave today ah.
I hope she's back with me tomorrow.

Penny for my thots

2007-08-01T21:08:00.000+08:00

It's been a crazy week, dad had a minor health scare but thankfully a colon scope showed that all was clear. Now that i've just sent them off to the airport for their 3week French vacation, I actually have the whole place to myself. Can relax? nooooooo....gotta do his work for him while he is away. Talk about O.T. Spent the last few days fussing and briefing. As if the poor pea isn't stressed enough at work, come home still cannot relax. =(

heard ex-alumni boss quit from the B place, woah, kinda changes things for my 2 kaki's who joined him there. Guess it goes to show that nothing is for certain and change really is the only constant. As much as i feel for them, can't help but agree with 11 that it's a blessing in disguise for us that we didn't end up joining.

Today at work, also got near miss, luckily managed to resolve rather quickly. I really think my guardian angel is doing a darn good job. Looking at all things in totality, I am made aware of a more powerful hand directing events/things in my life. Just the other day, I nearly strike starter prize for 4D, miss by 1 digit only. It's as if 'someone' is saying, hey i know what you are wishing for, but am showing you that you still need to work for it and there's no free lunch. Then again, it ain't gonna stop me from investing in thur's 2.8mio toto jackpot la. You'd neh know loh.

Even the old Bali medicine man also said to me :' pls don't lose your job'. So guess i'd still hafta work at it for some time yet. This same cracko dude also says i'll be rich by 40...(wooo hooo!) so I gotta hang on for the ride. He also said:" you are not just a smart girl, you are a VERY smart girl!" Waaahhh..haaa.....=P

A quote I came across this week:" the most efficient energy saving device is a rich husband". hmmm....

Bali magic

2007-07-23T23:22:00.001+08:00

There's something magical about bali, the people are friendly, there's no rush, traffic can get quite crazy but nobody loses their cool, even the local pets know how to kick back n take it easy.

This is not a postcard

2007-07-23T22:43:00.000+08:00

Alam Asmara Resort, Candidasa, Bali.

Pure bliss.

Really didn't do much this trip, which was the whole idea. I only brought basic snorkel gear true to fata's swordsman theory, and it must be a record coz I only did ONE dive..haa..choppy la..too much effort.

Chilled out at a mountain resort in Ubud, the Nandini resort, very peaceful and quiet, but the negotiating the many steps proved quite a good workout, all 3 of us were complaining of achy calf muscles. In s'pore some pple like to visit condo showflats, while in bali, the king likes to visit 5 star resorts to take pictures and trouble the resort managers to show him the villa rooms and ask tons of questions....by resort number 3 i was rather stoned n restless n lost interest. While cursing the king for his many incurable weird habits, i kena the neng kah attack and fell while going down a flight of stone pebble steps, Alila ubud i think it was, sustained minor (ugly) injuries.

Visited a rather amusing old medicine man, who's diagnosis consisted of reading your face, eyes/ears/nose/mouth - 'you have v gd eyes/ears/nose/mouth, you are v good woman' (when it came to the queen's turn, he said repeated much of the same thing, so here i have my doubts la....also did some palm reading, apparently 'if i want to i can marry 2 times'??!?!! king say i greedy, but was very happy to view and recommend villas which might prove to be suitable honeymoon locations for me next time.

ah well, as always, holidays end too soon and i feel like i need a few more days break to recover from my break but that is not to be, it's back to the grindstone tomorrow. Now i need to sleep.

lights, camera, (no) action!

2007-07-16T22:19:00.000+08:00

counting down...1 more work day to go...then i'm off to a self proclaimed well deserved rest/break in bali....

90% packed....just waiting for the king to change his mind about the silly heavy strobe that he made me go out of my way to collect. Methinks it's a set up. not sure who the mastermind is.....my dear KL royal couple frens (who act blur) or a certain dude who is 40 but behaves and likes to hang out with fellas 10yrs his junior....or maybe it's really a coincidence thing? I think not.....
Alas,for all their good intentions and effort, this is a plan that will not bear fruit...try harder next time guys, filter properly 1st..heh...

=================================================================
update: i found out that all of the above was really really pure coincidence...who knew la..ah well...at least it provided me (and some of my frens) some amusement...

words..only words...

2007-07-12T21:49:00.000+08:00

Just the other day read that the word 'ginormous' has made it as a legitimate word in the english dictionary...

Maybe one day soon we'll see words like 'chi-ba-bom' and 'shart' in there as well.
It was also reported in the news that the word 'love' is the most popular and favourite word amongst Singaporeans. (I didn't know that too) well.."cool"....is another..

The buck stops here

2007-07-10T22:49:00.000+08:00

The end of yet another really ku ku day. Really don't know what's gotten into me. but i've had enough of this nonsense. the ku-ku-ness stops here. Ming tian huei gen hao!

Ku ku na den

2007-07-09T20:37:00.001+08:00

I really feel i need a holiday..... to rest ...to recharge...to relax and take my kiao-kah picture....
Decided to heck it and not wait until aug for holiday, so today book ticket to bali to join king & queen on their trip (i gatecrash but boh chap la..heh). Happily thot ok, settled liao, swee.

On the mrt ride home then realised that the trip falls on the same weekend as port dickson race?! of course i am not competing la but i was supposed to go n give moral support while nuahing. Yikes...very ku ku....the pea seldom makes such mistakes, it's not her nature. She usually has her "marbles" all stored in the right places....so just goes to prove that it is really time for a holiday..the braincells need to reorganise and regroup..... I'm very very sorry to tuah fata...dix...ah ben....coach poon....

hermie

2007-07-01T21:54:00.000+08:00

So little time it seems, even on weekends it's a mad rush to get things done.

collect passport (ICA centre bursting at the seems with pple, my queue number: 323..wah seh..took 1.5hrs loh)....go meet fren for kopi....go for massage....go dinner.....go home zzz...

next day...go church...go lunch...go cut hair...by now the massage effects of the previous day is setting in and i guess i'm going thru' the detox phase....while waiting for my hair color to set, i was alternating between falling asleep and watching lil' hermie here go about his daily biz in the salt water tank...

hiaz..darn tired la....aiyoh...hope i wake up fresh(er) tomorrow...

manado?

2007-06-20T22:45:00.000+08:00

time seems to pass rather quickly it feels....i was moaning about pending monday..now already end of wed....just ystd celebrated my parallel universe fren's bday by having satisfying dinner at shaslik during which I was informed that i am rather kok since i didn't figure out how to set the date on my watch properly.

After that, I relied on trusty taxi uncle to send me home....during the journey, he asked me to read this police broadcast message on his taxi call booking screen...some big sized guy was out on the loose with one hand still in cuffs...then the taxi uncle say he knows who the dude is!! he is some guy who is a drug addict and hangs arnd in the taxi uncle's neighbourhood and the taxi uncle buys illegal ciggies from this dude for 1/2 the regular price! At this point i also don't know whether to believe or not loh...abit too coincidental right? anyway...i let it slide la, so kaypoh for what right.

On another topic...I think I need to get away and breathe some compressed air again, dunno when will I get the chance...just when the subject crossed my mind, got a msn message asking if I was keen to go manado to dive end Aug...hmmmm..can consider ley...any other takers??? I've only been there once and I told myself it's definitely worth it to go dive lembeh again....itz just the thought of jumping into the cold water that makes me hesitate. I can feel the chill in my bones just thinking about it...

connect the dots looking backwards

2007-06-16T00:25:00.000+08:00

back from "alumni" dinner...seems like the few of us still trying to find out footing and get a comfortable stance in our chosen companies....it's not been easy...hope it will all work out for all...

was reading the text of one of Steve Job's speech (http://news-service.stanford.edu/news/2005/june15/jobs-061505.html)
In it he spoke about connecting the dots looking backwards...i think i can relate....i couldn't see back then....where my haphazard work experience would lead me...but now i guess the time i clocked in the other companies really did help me to 'pick up' faster at this new dept....it sure is darn hectic but at least the learning curve ain't too steep.....hopefully i'll handle the intensity well as i gain experience...

even landing the transfer to this dept was quite a challenge, but now looking back...some stuff had to not work out in order for other stuff to...and a series of small events that included frustrating news & interesting yet vital coincidences so minute it was barely a whisper that could easily have been missed......so it all falls into place and works out in the end....

Contrary to what my dear fren sms me today, i do not think God is on vacation...i think we just can't see his plan until it is unfurled before us....so take heart....keep the faith....and rmbr "all good things!"

hot dog

2007-06-14T21:42:00.001+08:00

last nite i had a dream...and i seldom dream...or rather i mostly don't remember even if i do.
Could be that i'm waking up much earlier these days...before sunrise....so that's why can recall parts of the dream...
in my dream...i was patting the head of a pooch.....that one minute look like beemer(goldie)...next minute look like scout(brown & white border collie)...duh..confusing..haa

then ...cut over to another scene, i had my arm around a cute guy with a hot bod...?
then then then...
then i woke up......
so hor..tomorrow i set my alarm clock 5mins earlier...maybe can recall more if i do dream again......or maybe i'll just go have a hot dog...*sigh*

ohmmmmm

2007-06-10T22:27:00.000+08:00

been a long hectic week...1st week officially at the new dept....wah siong! think this is the 1st time i start new job don't have 'honeymoon' period one. Really gotta hit the ground running...or rather sprinting....so by the time friday came around i was already dam chuan. Somemore was left alone for a short period (think only 25mins or so but felt like an eternity) one day and i nearly died juggling 3 phones and 2 bloomberg terminals.......... So looked forward to the weekend break. As usual it comes arnd and goes way too quickly...sun is coming to an end...monday will be dawning soon...and the madness is gonna start again!

*suck in deep breath*

Bottled apology

2007-06-01T22:30:00.001+08:00

2nd time...booking screwed up again....told me 'they were not informed of my arrival but will let me check in anyways"...like hellllooo? doing me a big favor is it?.......the pea lost her zen quite awhile ago with this so called 'top svc aptm chain'.....told the charboh off that this is the 2nd time they've screwd things up for me. At the very least they 'zhi chuo neng gai', i returned to the room to find a bottled apology...altho' i don't drink, itz still a nice touch, quench the hell fires abit.

Last week thur was HK holiday, of course i didn't have to go in to work right? wrong again.....i found out this week that the CB si ang moh actually complained that i shld've come in to work since my flight was only in the afternoon. Hear already dam buay soong loh. I really think my 'yuan' does not lie with this dept....let's hope things pick up at the new dept....if it doesn't, my resignation letter is typed and ever ready...just need to change the date only lor.....afterall it's just a job, they don't own me, and when things get too ridiculous, just hv to say adios amigos.....wish me luck my friends....maybe i should read some 'hong chui' books also, haa...

shama again!??!

2007-05-26T12:10:00.000+08:00

Just when i thought, ahhh..finally back home...can try to eat abit of snake for the last week of work in this present dept...it's been a hectic week, could do with some down time..... I got a call on fri evening at 7pm to ask me to go over to HK again next week! DAMN!

Last week in HK, it was a holiday on thur so i earned one day off...but this coming week, thur is a holiday in S'pore but NOT in HK, so i gotta pay back that one day....nabei...i can't win with this company la...itz v annoying...

I don't know which is worse, the thought of having to work on a s'pre holiday or the thought of having to check in to that damn screwed up place again....u know what? i think the latter takes the cake.

I really hope that book lao pa was reading is true...june 6th is the date to look fwd to...for after that date....all ye dragons will hv a fantastic time!

The recent case of sudden death reported in the papers, of a 29yr old guy who is rather well known in the local music industry is v sad. Turns out my folks play golf with his folks n they are rather good friends, so i think it's rather close to home in a way. Mum was tellg me about it when they fetched me from the airport, the boy was working very hard on a upcoming project and was very stressed out, can imagine family's pain n loss, and all i can think of is that life is so precious n fragile, somethings are just not worth it... so guess have to live a balanced life...and learn when to say enough is enough so f off...haa..

KNNBCCB shama

2007-05-22T22:37:00.000+08:00

my hk trip has not been smooth thus far.
sequence of events:

day1
- 5min trip to changi airport, very smooth, when i got out of the car, i realised i was leaving a trail of white rubber. My arseluck in choosing a pair of shoes that i hv not worn in over 2yrs and no checking the base which was basically too brittle.
So after check in gotta go buy charles & keith sandal, quite kok.

-flight to HK, rather smooth, in my clumsiness i accidentally flicked some butter onto someone's laptop, lucky he busy eating neh see, i also heng my reflexes quite fast, hurry up wipe off and pretend nothing happen,continue eating....

-reach HK, customs queue, taxi queue all dam long, took me almost 2hrs to reach service aptm. While waiting got a call from s'pore office secretary saying that the stoopid farking hotel pple went to email my office and cc my farking big boss in hk that 2 of my friends hv checked in and are staying with me. All i blardi told them to do was to allow them to put luggage in the room 1st. Imagine how bad this looks. fucking upset for the rest of the day, cldn't even eat dinner properly, kept thinking wat the hell gonna happen 2mr.

day2
-got up dam early coz basically didn't sleep all that well, got ready, took a cab to work.
old groucy taxi driver didn't understand me and i had to call my collg for help in translation.
- thankfully big farking boss was in big farking london, so i didn't have to deal with it face to face, just dropped him an email and all was clear. think it was just blew way out of proportion la...
-Cursing at the shama svc aptm pple was v apt, don't believe 'top' chains handle things like dat loh, they cld've at least had the decency to wait for me to arrive to clarify things.
-had some gd company for dinner with hilarious thai stand up comedy act by pegs...
-chilling out at her plc as i make use of lao pa's laptop n peg's broadband connection.

1more work day to go then hopefully will have enough time for some shopping ..

what can i say...i do not like HK...=(

Ah Di ah!

2007-05-19T13:24:00.000+08:00

A normal lazy saturday, nuah until hungry so walk to the outside kopitiam to buy lunch.

5min walk out...5min walk back...no need to dress up for sure.

Q up to buy 'teh peng' to quench the afternoon thirst, the drinks' stall auntie in her fervour to serve fast fast..barely glanced at me and asked 'ah di yao she mer'?

I pretend neh hear the 1st part of the question and gave her my order while looking at her straight in the eye. think she felt bad la after she look properly....ha...i was more amused than insulted. Got me thinking on my 5min walk home...was it my short hair? was it my happening army print bermudas? I think it's time for a change...i think i need to grow my hair out long...=P

where's the justice?

2007-05-15T22:55:00.000+08:00

Just when i think i've accepted things and am more or less at peace w the situation and am moving forward.
I find out by chance that the irritating bugger has told yet another person that his bonus has hit 6figures. Don't these pple ever learn the meaning of the word 'humble' or that you can't 'buy' friends? or that respect is not earned n measured by how great u r trying to tell pple u r?
Worse still, where's the fucking justice if the HR can give him so much, and deny me my measely peanut dust for last yr????? Ni nabu la.
Neh mind, can only tell myself that only good things will come to me and my friends...
I am told today that i need to 'do them a favour' n fly myself to HK to do handover to a new fella. Such is the kok-ness of this plc, sign n charge away i shall, since it sure ain't going into my pocket na?

P's vision software upgrade successful!

2007-05-11T11:15:00.000+08:00

I can see! It's rather amazing really, quite scary too, can see everythg that is happening. The aftermath with the plastic cups look quite kok..but 'an quan di yi, an quan di yi'.

Bottles of Solo care solution and unused focus dailies (500 degrees) to give away..anybody?? heh

debrief

2007-05-06T14:17:00.000+08:00

realised a coupla things over last week.

1) boys can and probably are more sampat n gossipy than girls. the only difference is, they can gossip and shoot very succint questions at the subject of the gossip who is present in their midst.
girls generally will give face and only gossip behind the subject's back.

2) Mary's food still lives up to standards, and I feel hungry just thinking about the goreng pisangs and ngoh hiang rolls...yum...

3) Met up with a fren i haven't caught up with for awhile and she passed me 'the secret'...good reminder of all the stuff that I know and should be using but have lost sight of along the way.

4) Take home quote from Spidey 3 :"For all the things that life throws at us, there's always a choice".

5) If all else fails, when i grow old and wrinkled, I have a couple who will gladly totter around and watch tv with me (esp porn channels 304-309?) and laugh at the subtitles until our false teeth drop out. It's part sad...part reassuring ...don't know how else to describe it man...

go away!

2007-05-02T22:24:00.000+08:00

back from trip...still in denial...can the real world go away for longer please?

(pic stolen from dix's collection) ...island kitty sure knows how to let it all go, shut the world out, don't listen to a dam thang...

Shackaroo

2007-04-27T00:05:00.000+08:00

Shackadoobeedoo!! yes i am.
Was looking fwd to annual kaleebso...now m so tired i am just glad to go away for a couple of days...the promise of gd food, gd fun, gd diving? sure helps..

*yawn* *stretch* *sigh*

msia boleh!

2007-04-23T21:59:00.000+08:00

only in msia, this is what i call 'creating employment', imagine how many enforcement officers they need to employ to 'catch & scold people'.

tired tired....need a good laugh.....need a long break....need not to work...*bleah*

Hard day's work

2007-04-15T14:56:00.000+08:00

oh...it's been a long n testy week...nothing like some good ole' exercise to release the pent up frustration and get my mind off things by tiring myself out.

If I were a cat...I probably look like this...the 'pose' says it all...shack out manz!!!....life is good for this cat it seems...taking a catnap next to the aromatic vapours of changi village's famous nasi lemak stall...it must be in kitty heaven...

Feeling slightly more hopeful now that i've had the weekend to ponder things through, pray for me my friends...we all could do with a lil' divine help.

storm before the calm?

2007-04-14T10:16:00.000+08:00

Looking out of my office window, the color of the sky matches my mood for the last few days...cloudy, black and potentially stormy...told off a collg who i got dam irritated with.

to his question asking me for lunch so he can try to pry more info, my response was

:" I think i hv gd reason not to be in the best of moods right now, and to be honest with you that I'd rather not sit there and NOT answer your questions, so i'd pass on lunch if u can understand why."

not very fierce la (since when i ever scold pple) but i think i got the message across....

i can only grin and bear it and act like everything's fine and dandy...which by me is darn hard to do....at this age, i am even thinking of playing truant(coz i never did much of it back in school days)...it's pathetic...and it just goes to show the level of resentment in my lil' heart...

to be or not to be....

2007-04-09T22:01:00.000+08:00

current plc Pluses:
Mostly boh zeng hu, no one hounds me for stuff or breathes down my neck
better rewards coz it's supposed to be a front trading position
I'm getting used to the nature of the job n the systems involved

current plc Minuses:
boring environment
Uncertain future
Annoyance at mgmt for dragging feet abt impt stuff (my money!!!)
Annoyance at myself for kena bluff coz i didn't clarify when i joined
Annoyance at doing work that is not reflected by my position
Annoyance at silly magic mushroom muffins eating counterparts who make my job harder
Annoyance at the lack of direction
Annoyance at the blurring of lines
General annoyance la!
Staring at 4screens not doing my eyesight any good...
Incongruency ...that's the word...i can't describe it anyway else....i feel like it ain't really what i shld be doing ( i shld be tai tai enjoying in bahamas on toto winnings..hee)

new plc pluses
'perceived' better environment...coz already know the pple and culture
So will largely still be a boh si mi zeng hu style...
if they can give me more moolah..of course betta la
i think at most 2 screens only.

new plc minuses
step back into that area then forget abt moving front again, right now not sure what i prefer
no chance of getting big big bonus
potentially long hours
certainty of me complaining abt stuff after settling in if i choose to go...just gimme a mth or two..

there is no one perfect solution...but there are always choices to be made...so what will it be
there are experiments done that proof that given 5secs or 5mins or 5days...we'll still come back to the same gut feeling instant decision...
i shall keep an open mind n go find out more 1st then say...

as wide as u can.....

2007-04-06T14:27:00.000+08:00

had my lasik eye checkup yesterday....
throughout the examination, they keep telling me to 'open your eyes as wide as you can...wider..more...wider..."
after a few attempts you'd think that they will realise that it is not the case where I am not coorperating but rather i simply cannot.
I have lazy eye and lazy eyelid syndrome...it's "consistent" if u know what i mean =P ...plus modern ang moh equipment is not really tailored for slitty asian eyes...i had to resort to holding my eyelid up with my lil' index finger.
so it's set.....gonna do it next month...hope all goes well...

what do u make of this

2007-04-03T23:26:00.000+08:00

i've been told that by reading someone's blog, you get a sense of that person.
Of what is said and unsaid, read between the lines, is this person proud? happy? cynical? ashamed? hiding behind a mask? a zi lian kuang? slightly deranged? simple? complicated?

or like me just plain ol' in need of a super long long holiday ...should do the take three weeks off back to back thing i did 2yrs ago...or even better take a even longer break when i strike toto? Ah...in life all we need is hope!

with that in mind i was thinkg about my friends' masterpieces....one runs like there's no 2mr...another posts pic of himself for himself to look at(did i mention zi lian kuang?)......one sits on the royal throne in the bathroom and comes up with philosophical stuff...one takes pictures of pretty flowers and gives thanks to her ex-bf among other things....one likes to wax lyrical on all things political......one complains abt life and love and work and not striking toto....well that's just what they write about...but who are they really? gotta read betw the lines....and i'm glad i've got this varied assortment of kakis...makes my life more interesting too...

so pray tell...what do you read from here? heh..=P

broken

2007-04-01T15:30:00.000+08:00

what happens when I leave the window open and go out?

the wind blows strongly when it rains or the little birdies outside decide to hop in for a snook around?

i come home to discover that it's broken =(

i've had it with me for almost 10yrs...now all shattered in bits and pieces on the floor...it's not spectacularly beautiful but it was a nice & sweet gift.... now it's place is in the bin...irrepairable....irreplaceable...lost...gone....

windows to the soul?

2007-03-31T11:50:00.000+08:00

It's been a long work week...getting more n more tired as each day passes.
Not looking fwd to the next 2 wks...feel a headache coming on just thinking about it...shackadoodoo...

Made an apptm to go for lasik evaluation, see if i'm suitable or not...i suspect my degree not stable enough and the nature of my work my not help either...friends tell me might lose contrast...lasik effects may not be permanent (esp. if continue staring at 4screens daily) ...then there are those who've done it and say it's so liberating, best thing they've done, such a joy to throw all the contact lens/solutions/specs away..........we'll see how it goes...undecided as yet.....test already then say........can get 5days mc wor!! .....isn't sad when the prospect of getting mc to rest sounds good? hiaz...

thank god for the wkend again...if only sat/sun lasts longer....

Good read..

2007-03-28T23:36:00.000+08:00

Just finished chapter 1, 35pages out of a very thick 933 pages novel and am liking it already. It's promising to be one of those darn good reads we come across once in a long long time...
It's been awhile since i've been so entertained. wish i can hole up in some remote resort for 3days and read it straight through.

i thought this was quite well put:

The past reflects eternally between two mirrors - the bright mirror of words and deeds, and the dark one, full of things we didn't do or say.

a rather long rant...

2007-03-25T23:15:00.000+08:00

coupla things got me thinking this wkend...

a fren asked me a v succinct question
Q:" what do you do best?"
A:" er..'nothing?' ha!"
Q:" which other industry would your skills be easily transferable to?"
A:" ***blank*** :-
it didn't help that my nagging headache wldn't go away and i actually started to feel abit nauseous after awhile....didn't wana do a merlion so thot better go home swallow panadol and lie down for awhile...heh...felt much better after an hour or so.

am almost thru with a dalai lama book "the art of happiness at work"....well i wldn't say it gave much insight, more of reinforcement of what i already knew deep down inside...

maybe i'd b more satisfied working as a vet's assistant for 1/3 my current pay? anybody know any generous/kind hearted vets who will let me muck arnd and learn the ropes even tho' i ain't got the requisite papers? maybe i'll hang in my job for a year and do this totally different thing as a break...maybe i can do it on my wkends even now? hmm..

maybe i'd feel better if i got lasik done and i can actually see better and not constantly have this focusing problem (4 screens at work sure doesn't help with stabilising myopia)..it's starting to get to me.

maybe i'd have more fun if i had a doggie which i can name mugly (as in the laughing dog in the hanna babara cartoon)...but itz really too much work, so maybe i'll just play with other people's pets and pretend m the happy owner for the day. maybe i shld get myself a rich guy to pay for all my whims and fancies..heh..ya right...=P

sun nite, the end of the weekend, i rested well (tho' i feel i can rest somemore) , i got marinated and it felt ooh sooo gd (i should do this everyweek)
feeling rather hopeful ... in the grand scheme of things, i have it quite gd...
altho' m rather certain this feeling will fade come a few hrs into monday ...*bleah*...