May 29, 2012
Ultimate adventure
I sometimes think about our mortality...i wonder how i'll face it...i can only pray that when the time comes,i'll be ready to go on that adventure of the soul without fear...
December 09, 2011
I want it all
It's my birthday today,I woke up feeling aches n pains, must've been the result of a combination of super abs pilates workout yesterday and way too soft pillows that provided zero support. But yes, the aches remind me that I am very much alive, alive in this earthly body. On this day as I am lost in my thoughts in a corner of the resort pool (I think better in water, must be the diver in me?) I realize I have lots to be grateful for:
For good friends
For family
For being born in the increasingly crowded and congested sg
For having the luxury of working for my next holiday
For being able to turn a head or two once in a while (and yes it's been a very long while)
The question that begs a good answer though, is, what can I do that is more fulfilling and meaningful? There are few things I am interested in, work with dogs? Work as a pseudo dive travel agent n get myself free trips to explore exotic locales? Be a wildly successful author? ;) Ahhhh it all sounds so good but also so idealistic in my-oh-so-logical-mind. My life is now on a low volatility track, very stable,very serene,very oh-how-do-I-put-it? Boring? Non exciting? Feel like something is lacking? It's all very catch-22. I want it more entertaining but I don't want to give up the stability. I want it to be more rewarding. I want it all and then some.
For good friends
For family
For being born in the increasingly crowded and congested sg
For having the luxury of working for my next holiday
For being able to turn a head or two once in a while (and yes it's been a very long while)
The question that begs a good answer though, is, what can I do that is more fulfilling and meaningful? There are few things I am interested in, work with dogs? Work as a pseudo dive travel agent n get myself free trips to explore exotic locales? Be a wildly successful author? ;) Ahhhh it all sounds so good but also so idealistic in my-oh-so-logical-mind. My life is now on a low volatility track, very stable,very serene,very oh-how-do-I-put-it? Boring? Non exciting? Feel like something is lacking? It's all very catch-22. I want it more entertaining but I don't want to give up the stability. I want it to be more rewarding. I want it all and then some.
January 16, 2010
*cough cough*
now...ok...this is the 3rd wkend now in 2010 that i'm spending recovering from sickness or tiredness....
Kena a bout of food poisoning, then changed jobs, trying to adapt to new environment so body stressed up and tired so probably immunity low ...then papers say there's a nasty flu virus going around, so of course i kena again...so now recovering...hiaz...
hope this means rest of the year will be healthy n well...amen..
Kena a bout of food poisoning, then changed jobs, trying to adapt to new environment so body stressed up and tired so probably immunity low ...then papers say there's a nasty flu virus going around, so of course i kena again...so now recovering...hiaz...
hope this means rest of the year will be healthy n well...amen..
December 24, 2009
Merry X'mas 2009!
It's been a looong time since I last blogged.
My 2009 seemed to have all happened in the last six months.
I was privileged enough to do a mini tour-de-asia, visiting:
--Beijing in June (walked part of the Great Wall and touched the walls of the forbidden city)
--Bali in June(villa sankara it a
was not, think it was villa mari dade?)
--Mount Kinabalu in July (very proud of myself that I didn't pass out from the effort, now this can be checked of my list of 'been there, done that, don't think I'll do it again!)
--Kaleebso in August (our annual tioman dive/eat/sleep mecca)
--malacca pig out trip in oct (satay celup!)
--Hanoi in November (traffic is scary! water puppet show is a must see for visitors..hee hee)
--Lombok in December (beautiful plc, maybe 20yrs behind bali so have to be patient with their mana ada system? ways)
Looking forward as always to more fabulous trips in the year ahead...
starting with Mauritius in Feb =)
now how do I tell my new boss i need to take leave...hmmm......
My 2009 seemed to have all happened in the last six months.
I was privileged enough to do a mini tour-de-asia, visiting:
--Beijing in June (walked part of the Great Wall and touched the walls of the forbidden city)
--Bali in June(villa sankara it a
was not, think it was villa mari dade?)
--Mount Kinabalu in July (very proud of myself that I didn't pass out from the effort, now this can be checked of my list of 'been there, done that, don't think I'll do it again!)
--Kaleebso in August (our annual tioman dive/eat/sleep mecca)
--malacca pig out trip in oct (satay celup!)
--Hanoi in November (traffic is scary! water puppet show is a must see for visitors..hee hee)
--Lombok in December (beautiful plc, maybe 20yrs behind bali so have to be patient with their mana ada system? ways)
Looking forward as always to more fabulous trips in the year ahead...
starting with Mauritius in Feb =)
now how do I tell my new boss i need to take leave...hmmm......
April 19, 2009
vigilante justice?
here i was minding my own biz...on a hot and humid sun afternn.....my neighbour screaming at the kid over some homework issue....
2hours later she was still at it...even me talking to C on the phone, C can hear la.......the poor kid whimpering in fear....made me and mama pea feel super uneasy...this is outright abuse lor....and not the 1st time we've heard her at it.......we went to the neighbour's door...but it was closed n we figured maybe this was not the best idea...don't want to kena blue black for being kaypoh....so went home n came up with what we hope is a better and wiser alternative.
typed up a short n sharp letter and went to slide it under the neighbour's door. Mama pea thot i shld ring doorbell then run..but i didn't think it was necessary to behave like we were doing something wrong.
reproduced here for posterity...
==================================================================
Dear Mdm of unit #XX,
We can’t help but overhear your scolding of your child for the last 2-3hrs. We realize that you are trying to coach the child in homework. We can also hear your child’s whimpering and crying.
We would like to just appeal to you to calm down and give the child some breathing space. No child that is so scared and terrified would be able to absorb what you are trying to teach.
A suggestion perhaps is to hire a tutor who would be able to guide the child in a more neutral and constructive way. Sometimes it’s hardest to listen to people who are closest to us.
We are not trying to be busybody and have considered knocking on your door to speak with you however we are not sure how you would react and would prefer this method as it is less confrontational. It is not our business how you discipline your child, we just want to gently bring to your attention that perhaps there are more effective and less painful ways for your child.
yours sincerely
your concerned neighbour
===================================================================
I hope we did the right thing, the screaming and scolding stopped after about 15mins.....then it was quiet.......just hope the child didn't/won't kena whack even more or something.....
i figure as the lady reading the letter, she will react in one of two possible ways....get even angrier and try to find out which kaypoh neighbour it is......or hopefully feel embarrassed enough to calm down and reassess the situation...
quite a exciting sunday at home i must say...must go speak w my cousin later..she's in social work...she'll be able to provide better insights into these matters....
2hours later she was still at it...even me talking to C on the phone, C can hear la.......the poor kid whimpering in fear....made me and mama pea feel super uneasy...this is outright abuse lor....and not the 1st time we've heard her at it.......we went to the neighbour's door...but it was closed n we figured maybe this was not the best idea...don't want to kena blue black for being kaypoh....so went home n came up with what we hope is a better and wiser alternative.
typed up a short n sharp letter and went to slide it under the neighbour's door. Mama pea thot i shld ring doorbell then run..but i didn't think it was necessary to behave like we were doing something wrong.
reproduced here for posterity...
==================================================================
Dear Mdm of unit #XX,
We can’t help but overhear your scolding of your child for the last 2-3hrs. We realize that you are trying to coach the child in homework. We can also hear your child’s whimpering and crying.
We would like to just appeal to you to calm down and give the child some breathing space. No child that is so scared and terrified would be able to absorb what you are trying to teach.
A suggestion perhaps is to hire a tutor who would be able to guide the child in a more neutral and constructive way. Sometimes it’s hardest to listen to people who are closest to us.
We are not trying to be busybody and have considered knocking on your door to speak with you however we are not sure how you would react and would prefer this method as it is less confrontational. It is not our business how you discipline your child, we just want to gently bring to your attention that perhaps there are more effective and less painful ways for your child.
yours sincerely
your concerned neighbour
===================================================================
I hope we did the right thing, the screaming and scolding stopped after about 15mins.....then it was quiet.......just hope the child didn't/won't kena whack even more or something.....
i figure as the lady reading the letter, she will react in one of two possible ways....get even angrier and try to find out which kaypoh neighbour it is......or hopefully feel embarrassed enough to calm down and reassess the situation...
quite a exciting sunday at home i must say...must go speak w my cousin later..she's in social work...she'll be able to provide better insights into these matters....
dreamwrkz
it's interesting this brain of ours....
i dreamt of walking next to a rather good looking dude through wide doors to enter a cool lobby that has this copper gong along the side wall. I woke up with a pleasant feeling...
a quick google search later and i'm quite happy with my own interpretation..:)
i think i should sleep more.....this is rather illuminating...haha...
i dreamt of walking next to a rather good looking dude through wide doors to enter a cool lobby that has this copper gong along the side wall. I woke up with a pleasant feeling...
a quick google search later and i'm quite happy with my own interpretation..:)
i think i should sleep more.....this is rather illuminating...haha...
February 26, 2009
Not that into you.
Today I read an ebook at work. it's a short ebook...all of 81 pages...quite funny too....of the 8-10hours i spend at work, between big blocks of efficient work there are pockets where i used to be able to connect with the outside world (via msn) but now that my life-link has been cut off, i can just stare intently at the screen (reading the ebook...heh).
work is still work and needs to get done, my probs collg is still and will always remain an idiot, i think he can't help it, it's in infused in his blood and i suspect there are pockets of dead space n air in that brain of his, the neurons just don't seem to connect.
at the end of the day i look at our trade blotters and i still have easily double or more trades than he does....i do the admin......my unofficial title is 'structured product term sheet repackager'.........the role is so impt they can't do without me, even when i take 2 days off ....the work is left untouched coz only I have the superhero power to do it, i promptly answer queries.......i feel at times that my team is I and I am my team.......becoz of the unequal distribution of shifts, i end up working longer hrs when someone is on leave......boss has finally realised this and said i can come in 30mins later tomorrow (WOW! somebody buy 4D quick *bleah*)
we don't know where this ship is heading or even if this ship can sustain sailing on it's own, so really what's the point in complaining (officially).......our days might be numbered.....so i can only complain unofficially to those who care to listen (or read) via emails to kakis (since cannot msn) or via this page.....
And despite all this, i still manage to read an ebook at work......
work is still work and needs to get done, my probs collg is still and will always remain an idiot, i think he can't help it, it's in infused in his blood and i suspect there are pockets of dead space n air in that brain of his, the neurons just don't seem to connect.
at the end of the day i look at our trade blotters and i still have easily double or more trades than he does....i do the admin......my unofficial title is 'structured product term sheet repackager'.........the role is so impt they can't do without me, even when i take 2 days off ....the work is left untouched coz only I have the superhero power to do it, i promptly answer queries.......i feel at times that my team is I and I am my team.......becoz of the unequal distribution of shifts, i end up working longer hrs when someone is on leave......boss has finally realised this and said i can come in 30mins later tomorrow (WOW! somebody buy 4D quick *bleah*)
we don't know where this ship is heading or even if this ship can sustain sailing on it's own, so really what's the point in complaining (officially).......our days might be numbered.....so i can only complain unofficially to those who care to listen (or read) via emails to kakis (since cannot msn) or via this page.....
And despite all this, i still manage to read an ebook at work......
January 26, 2009
happy CNY 2009
gongxi fa cai!
here i am sitting in the office....with "wana" for company...
wana's abit busy now though, gliding back n forth in his tank scaring the little guppy sized goldfishes.....but i'm sure there's no place he'd rather be today just like me....
hao wu liao ooohhh.....
here i am sitting in the office....with "wana" for company...
wana's abit busy now though, gliding back n forth in his tank scaring the little guppy sized goldfishes.....but i'm sure there's no place he'd rather be today just like me....
hao wu liao ooohhh.....
January 25, 2009
i read...i think....i blog?
Another thought, i think blogging is good. putting thoughts into words....haven't been doing much of it lately (blogging i mean...i do think u know ...mostly..haa) . I also at some point realised that i have not been learning much, so started to pick up my reading habit again. Then i realised that i can read quite fast, mainly becoz the mrt ride to n from work is rather long, so really gives me time to skim through the pages. Although the genre of books i'm reading may not let me learn much (mostly murder/psycho killer mysteries), as least my mind/imagination is kept active and that's a good start.....
i knead, i write, i post....
Had the most terrifyingly painful massage therapy session yesterday. kena kneaded n pressed until tears streaming down my face. not sure if really need to 'work' the points so hard to get them to be 'tong'. the shoulders do feel abit less tight now altho i'm aching all over and have many 'orh cheh' spots....even lathering soap on self has to be a delicate operation.
Shall give it a few days to recover n see how i feel. whether the hopeful increase in bodily comfort is worth that hour or so of pain. i think effects are similar to the lymphatic drainage massage i tried before coz now i'm just feeling lethargic n 'drugged'...so must be some detoxing effect...?
A not too comfy start to the 'niu' year....better days to come i hope.....
Shall give it a few days to recover n see how i feel. whether the hopeful increase in bodily comfort is worth that hour or so of pain. i think effects are similar to the lymphatic drainage massage i tried before coz now i'm just feeling lethargic n 'drugged'...so must be some detoxing effect...?
A not too comfy start to the 'niu' year....better days to come i hope.....
November 29, 2008
what is this world coming to?
senseless ..... this morning i read the front page news about the young recently married s'porean lawyer who was murdered in the mumbai attack. read liao eyes also water...it's just so senseless....
as i type this...my fren tellg me on msn that she knows the lawyer and is quite affected by it n can't sleep properly....life is fragile indeed.....so stop fussing over the inconsequential things and just live...look at the state of things...pple are losing jobs....dying......we should all be happy with what we have, frens/family/job even?
heard this top trade strategy this week:" long unemployment, short morale". haiz.....seems like this will be in the money for awhile...
as i type this...my fren tellg me on msn that she knows the lawyer and is quite affected by it n can't sleep properly....life is fragile indeed.....so stop fussing over the inconsequential things and just live...look at the state of things...pple are losing jobs....dying......we should all be happy with what we have, frens/family/job even?
heard this top trade strategy this week:" long unemployment, short morale". haiz.....seems like this will be in the money for awhile...
September 25, 2008
the loser takes the fall?
I think my mental/emotional health is at risk....
tamade.......nabei.........wtf.............................!!!!!
if i could drink i'd down a couple of beers right now.......
felt like throwing in the towel today......
what's the point of all this stress......
tired n frustrated......
makes me wonder if i'm really suited to carry on with this crap........
walking away would be too easy......
staying is giving me heartache n grief......
tamade.......nabei.........wtf.............................!!!!!
if i could drink i'd down a couple of beers right now.......
felt like throwing in the towel today......
what's the point of all this stress......
tired n frustrated......
makes me wonder if i'm really suited to carry on with this crap........
walking away would be too easy......
staying is giving me heartache n grief......
August 28, 2008
confirmed
so it's confirmed.....to "niao bu shen dan dao" pea will go.....i've mentally adjusted and accepted......carry on carry on......life goes on.....just hv to spend more time standing in mrt....
August 23, 2008
don't sweat it
this week didn't bring good news, heard that a long time family friend of my mum's who is a cancer survivor and had a masectomy 20+yrs ago suffered a relapse and had to do a second masectomy, to add insult to injury, even after this operation, her cancer blood cell count is something like 24/29....while we may not be medically in the know enough to really understand what that means, but from the sound of it, it points to 'oh shit indeed'.....what can we do...what can we say....you might have everythg but if you don't have the health to enjoy it then .....
wake up call hopefully for my dad as well who's blood sugar is high and is borderline diabetic...not funny if he continues eating like a big kid....mum's understandably concerned and naggy and i also kena the side bullets and try very hard to stay out of the firing range...
i suppose....when i look at the big picture....we really shouldn't have to sweat the small stuff and it's almost allllll small stuff in the wide canvas of our life.....work....where to stay....what to eat....millions of other things we fuss about daily....all small stuff....mum said we all gotta go one day...it's a question of how u live determining how u go......so......how do we live....how do we go.....?
wake up call hopefully for my dad as well who's blood sugar is high and is borderline diabetic...not funny if he continues eating like a big kid....mum's understandably concerned and naggy and i also kena the side bullets and try very hard to stay out of the firing range...
i suppose....when i look at the big picture....we really shouldn't have to sweat the small stuff and it's almost allllll small stuff in the wide canvas of our life.....work....where to stay....what to eat....millions of other things we fuss about daily....all small stuff....mum said we all gotta go one day...it's a question of how u live determining how u go......so......how do we live....how do we go.....?
August 17, 2008
kang kor feeling
today pea just can't talk with folks, it's like they r damn frus and m the available punching bag....maybe i m being stubborn....maybe i'm really being selfish (quite an unbelievable comment coming from dad) ....folks alternately taking shots at lil ol' me.....ok ok...i surrender....altho in my heart still got the damn kang kor feeling but looks like in this battle, i've lost n can't fight the two pple who gave life to me....looks like to 'niao bu shen dan dao' we go.... =(
August 07, 2008
Lil' miss lovely
thanks to the dear smiley/frenly/sweet girl who made me my morning cuppa.....and helped me start my work day on a nice note....=)
August 05, 2008
Quietude....
I'm reading yet another book and I these paragraphs got my attention...
"The resting place of the mind is the heart. The only thing the mind hears all day is clanging bells and noise and argument, and all it wants is quietude. The only place the mind will ever find peace is inside the silence of the heart. That's where you need to go."
" People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that's what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that's holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life. A true soul mate is probably the most important person you'll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. But to live with a soul mate forever? Nah. too painful. Soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then they leave. And thank God for it. Problem is, we just can't let it go."
In case your wondering, no i'm not being emo, and no it's not a self help book. The book is about a woman's travels to 3 countries and the stuff she experiences/learns along the way....
"The resting place of the mind is the heart. The only thing the mind hears all day is clanging bells and noise and argument, and all it wants is quietude. The only place the mind will ever find peace is inside the silence of the heart. That's where you need to go."
" People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that's what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that's holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life. A true soul mate is probably the most important person you'll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. But to live with a soul mate forever? Nah. too painful. Soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then they leave. And thank God for it. Problem is, we just can't let it go."
In case your wondering, no i'm not being emo, and no it's not a self help book. The book is about a woman's travels to 3 countries and the stuff she experiences/learns along the way....
July 31, 2008
How to live....
I just watched a 1hr16min long clip on youtube, think we all need a reminder every once inawhile.
valuable lessons from Randy Pausch's last lecture:
valuable lessons from Randy Pausch's last lecture:
- We can't change the the cards we are dealt but we can change how we play our hand
- wait long enough and people will surprise you, find the best in everyone, no one is all evil, just keep waiting, people will show you their good side.
- if people piss you off, you just haven't given them enough time (i'd try to remember this)
- brick walls are there to let you prove how badly you want something, they let us show our dedication
- never lose your childlike wonder
- help others
- loyalty is a 2-way street
- We can' t get there alone, believe in karma, tell the truth, be earnest, apologise if you screw up and focus on others, not yourself
- Don't bail, the best gold is at the bottom of the crap
- do the right thing and good stuff has a way of happening
- Show gratitude
- Don't complain, just work harder
- Be good at something, it makes you valuable
- Be prepared, luck happens when preparation meets opportunity
Lead your life the right way, the karma will take care of itself, the dreams will come to you.
July 24, 2008
freaking 24th of July....
today don't blog bu ke yi, it's so amazingly fucked up....
today is rather significant, coz i think i've come a long way since 10yrs ago.
today i got the keys to my new house, I may be just a part owner but hey it's still a rather big deal to me.
today i had to 'fly aeroplane' to my dinner apptm coz was in a really bad mood + pms + abit emo + kena whole load of shit i had to clear at work all coz dear fabulous problematic fart man decided it's not impt to use his brains at work and left a big ugly mess while he went away to HK for biz cum pleasure trip (which shld've hv been my privilege but let's not nit pick here...), ey wait...maybe that's not fair of me to say that...maybe he really doesn't have much of a brain to use in the 1st place.
today my dad called me to ask me to run a ridiculous errand during my lunchbreak when he was out playing golf/mahjong with his friends, sorry loh, i felt abit bad about turning it down flat but my time is worth alot more than that and i really don't have the luxury of disppearing from office as and when i like, besides collecting the keys to my 1st house is way more impt.
today i worked from 7.30am to 7.30pm...12hrs straight...ok 11hrs...discounting my rush lunch hr break to collect keys....i didn't even have time for lunch.....just munched on some chicken tenders from BK at work in between my cussing and swearing under my breath....
thanks SY for accompanying me for dinner...that was like the most pleasant thing that happened today....after dinner thought wanna take cab home....taxi queue super long coz it rained...wah lau....
boy am i glad the day if over and done with....
today is rather significant, coz i think i've come a long way since 10yrs ago.
today i got the keys to my new house, I may be just a part owner but hey it's still a rather big deal to me.
today i had to 'fly aeroplane' to my dinner apptm coz was in a really bad mood + pms + abit emo + kena whole load of shit i had to clear at work all coz dear fabulous problematic fart man decided it's not impt to use his brains at work and left a big ugly mess while he went away to HK for biz cum pleasure trip (which shld've hv been my privilege but let's not nit pick here...), ey wait...maybe that's not fair of me to say that...maybe he really doesn't have much of a brain to use in the 1st place.
today my dad called me to ask me to run a ridiculous errand during my lunchbreak when he was out playing golf/mahjong with his friends, sorry loh, i felt abit bad about turning it down flat but my time is worth alot more than that and i really don't have the luxury of disppearing from office as and when i like, besides collecting the keys to my 1st house is way more impt.
today i worked from 7.30am to 7.30pm...12hrs straight...ok 11hrs...discounting my rush lunch hr break to collect keys....i didn't even have time for lunch.....just munched on some chicken tenders from BK at work in between my cussing and swearing under my breath....
thanks SY for accompanying me for dinner...that was like the most pleasant thing that happened today....after dinner thought wanna take cab home....taxi queue super long coz it rained...wah lau....
boy am i glad the day if over and done with....
July 16, 2008
how do i get to....
twice this week...on the way to work...walking from mrt to office building...i've been stopped by strangers asking for directions.....there are alot of pple in raffles place..... this is s'pore's army i'm talking about....every morning...i witness the wave of continuous heads going up the 3 side-by-side escalators at the mrt n the lagging throng of pple inching their way to get to the start of these escalators..n i think to myself...this is really s'pore's (financial) army....
so back to the question why ask me for directions? either there are alot of pple who are simply just lost....or i really look like i know where i'm headed....why stop me when u can stop the dude in front or behind or walking almost shoulder to shoulder beside me?
I wish i knew where i was headed....
so back to the question why ask me for directions? either there are alot of pple who are simply just lost....or i really look like i know where i'm headed....why stop me when u can stop the dude in front or behind or walking almost shoulder to shoulder beside me?
I wish i knew where i was headed....
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