November 29, 2008
as i type this...my fren tellg me on msn that she knows the lawyer and is quite affected by it n can't sleep properly....life is fragile indeed.....so stop fussing over the inconsequential things and just live...look at the state of things...pple are losing jobs....dying......we should all be happy with what we have, frens/family/job even?
heard this top trade strategy this week:" long unemployment, short morale". haiz.....seems like this will be in the money for awhile...
September 25, 2008
if i could drink i'd down a couple of beers right now.......
felt like throwing in the towel today......
what's the point of all this stress......
tired n frustrated......
makes me wonder if i'm really suited to carry on with this crap........
walking away would be too easy......
staying is giving me heartache n grief......
August 28, 2008
August 23, 2008
wake up call hopefully for my dad as well who's blood sugar is high and is borderline diabetic...not funny if he continues eating like a big kid....mum's understandably concerned and naggy and i also kena the side bullets and try very hard to stay out of the firing range...
i suppose....when i look at the big picture....we really shouldn't have to sweat the small stuff and it's almost allllll small stuff in the wide canvas of our life.....work....where to stay....what to eat....millions of other things we fuss about daily....all small stuff....mum said we all gotta go one day...it's a question of how u live determining how u go......so......how do we live....how do we go.....?
August 17, 2008
August 07, 2008
August 05, 2008
"The resting place of the mind is the heart. The only thing the mind hears all day is clanging bells and noise and argument, and all it wants is quietude. The only place the mind will ever find peace is inside the silence of the heart. That's where you need to go."
" People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that's what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that's holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life. A true soul mate is probably the most important person you'll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. But to live with a soul mate forever? Nah. too painful. Soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then they leave. And thank God for it. Problem is, we just can't let it go."
In case your wondering, no i'm not being emo, and no it's not a self help book. The book is about a woman's travels to 3 countries and the stuff she experiences/learns along the way....
July 31, 2008
valuable lessons from Randy Pausch's last lecture:
- We can't change the the cards we are dealt but we can change how we play our hand
- wait long enough and people will surprise you, find the best in everyone, no one is all evil, just keep waiting, people will show you their good side.
- if people piss you off, you just haven't given them enough time (i'd try to remember this)
- brick walls are there to let you prove how badly you want something, they let us show our dedication
- never lose your childlike wonder
- help others
- loyalty is a 2-way street
- We can' t get there alone, believe in karma, tell the truth, be earnest, apologise if you screw up and focus on others, not yourself
- Don't bail, the best gold is at the bottom of the crap
- do the right thing and good stuff has a way of happening
- Show gratitude
- Don't complain, just work harder
- Be good at something, it makes you valuable
- Be prepared, luck happens when preparation meets opportunity
Lead your life the right way, the karma will take care of itself, the dreams will come to you.
July 24, 2008
today is rather significant, coz i think i've come a long way since 10yrs ago.
today i got the keys to my new house, I may be just a part owner but hey it's still a rather big deal to me.
today i had to 'fly aeroplane' to my dinner apptm coz was in a really bad mood + pms + abit emo + kena whole load of shit i had to clear at work all coz dear fabulous problematic fart man decided it's not impt to use his brains at work and left a big ugly mess while he went away to HK for biz cum pleasure trip (which shld've hv been my privilege but let's not nit pick here...), ey wait...maybe that's not fair of me to say that...maybe he really doesn't have much of a brain to use in the 1st place.
today my dad called me to ask me to run a ridiculous errand during my lunchbreak when he was out playing golf/mahjong with his friends, sorry loh, i felt abit bad about turning it down flat but my time is worth alot more than that and i really don't have the luxury of disppearing from office as and when i like, besides collecting the keys to my 1st house is way more impt.
today i worked from 7.30am to 7.30pm...12hrs straight...ok 11hrs...discounting my rush lunch hr break to collect keys....i didn't even have time for lunch.....just munched on some chicken tenders from BK at work in between my cussing and swearing under my breath....
thanks SY for accompanying me for dinner...that was like the most pleasant thing that happened today....after dinner thought wanna take cab home....taxi queue super long coz it rained...wah lau....
boy am i glad the day if over and done with....
July 16, 2008
so back to the question why ask me for directions? either there are alot of pple who are simply just lost....or i really look like i know where i'm headed....why stop me when u can stop the dude in front or behind or walking almost shoulder to shoulder beside me?
I wish i knew where i was headed....
July 13, 2008
1) camping in comfort at my parallel universe fren's house was rather enjoyable...thks for having me!...
2) we r definitely not as young as we used to/or would like to be...... coz after just 2 late nights in a row, i feel like my whole body is protesting....the tiredness is not something that i can shake off.....and the thought of yet another loooong work week ahead ain't helping....i think i need a solid solid massage to knead out the kinks n the aches.....
3) space...or the lack there-of.....my folks understand i need my space...as i'm typing this, i've conquered a desk in a corner of the living room and so far no one has come near me...think i'm emitting this 'leave me alone or i might bite your head off' vibe....besides physical space.....i think too much noise just gets to me.....i need to be able to hear myself think...even if i am just stoning...i need to hear it.....it's therapeutic...i like my own thoughts....noise....esp of the kiddy sort...causes my brain to go into involuntary spasms n cramps n leaves it in a permanently knotted headache mode that only 2 panadols might alleviate....not funny....
I might sound ungrateful...but unless u grew up like me....u wouldn't get it..this need for personal space..i'm thankful for my folks...that we hv a place to crash in even while we take our time to sort out where to move to next....i just really really hope....it has enough space.....
July 07, 2008
July 06, 2008
i need another distraction.....another holiday.....another escape.....another something......this must be what mild depression feels like....
whatz the solution? if i knew i wouldn't be here still....
June 17, 2008
June 03, 2008
i need to requisite for a very large cork, seeing that foul air is still being let out in the office, now almost daily, i really need to get a cork n the help of a good pair of hands to shaft it up his rear end. And since this arsehole is a rather large one, pls get me a supersized one....failing which maybe a hitman will do a much better job?
hiaz....the shit i put up with....
May 27, 2008
Work is droning on and more stuff seems to be piled on my plate. The annoying farker let off another one of those major stinkers of a fart today in office. As with people, sometimes it's the silent ones that are the killer. wah lau ey, some decorum would be much appreciated loh. Either have the decency to walk outside to the toilet or shaft a freaking cork up yours!...nabei.... >=(
May 20, 2008
May 13, 2008
dix will buy me a drink (i dun want beer bintang) and shuyi will buy me makan =P.....the rest are welcome to chip to blanjah me other stuff ....heee heee...i feel so lurvvved...haa
over and out...
May 06, 2008
Today I also packed another section of my past 20yrs into a cardboard box. some things i found I don't even remember I had/kept, so figured there'll be no loss to throw them out. With this downsizing of space...there's only room for the essentials....old photos however, really brings back memories and makes me wish i could turn back time....I miss the pooches... leslie the jap spitz and sa-kwa's the one doing the doggy yoga.
April 21, 2008
what can i say ...concentration just not there..lapse in judgement...
my new catch-phrase: " dot dot dot...smiley face :)
when really boh weh kong n have to grin n bear it...
surprisingly i actually don't feel as bad as i think i should over today's incident. ha...think it's the boh-chapness in me that is acting up liao...
April 06, 2008
March 16, 2008
March 01, 2008
Also found out that after mama pea's pep talk, she also voiced her concerns to my adoptive folks, who tried to act blur (I hope successfully) and act surprised and field questions regarding my self imposed situation....must be some pre-mature old age crisis mama pea is going through la.
Feel so drugged out lethargic these last 2 days...today can open eyes at 9am, then roll over sleep somemore...open eyes again at 10am..then roll other side n sleep somemore...finally woke up at 11am to princess' phonecall to jio us over for a rare pasta treat. =)
what is the best thing to do on a cool, rainy saturday? make a cup of hot tea....kick back, relax and watch a dvd....
February 26, 2008
in the essence of this mantra a good friend once lived by "what will pea do?"
it's now a question of "where will pea go?" ...
February 24, 2008
i think this yr is a yr full of new surprises and changes......carpe diem should be the rule to live by.....on a different note, kena 'pep talk' by mama pea today....she was thinking out loud that she's worried that i might grow old alone. said it's best to have a partner or failing that to stay with a good friend. (i was thinking can keep a pet dog what..heh..but thought i'd better keep that thought to myself) . She also said i should take action n be abit aggressive (**grrrrr*** : !!!) haa... that boys nowadays won't do the chasing, so if i see someone i like i should make the first move....(i think I need a club to clobber the guy n drag him back to my cave or somethg?...)
all this just when i thought my folks were pretty cool with things...ah well.....if i start calling u guys, don't panic ok? maybe i just need room and board when i'm old....
February 13, 2008
Was one of the first few hundred on the s'pore flyer...so lucky hor, those corporates really paid an exorbitant amount for clients to go up n loh hei high up in the sky in capsules with funky blue lighting which makes all the food look rather unappetising.
February 07, 2008
It's now 12noon on the 1st day of CNY. I'm sitting at my desk at work. The only one here in this bank that is spread over at least 6 floors.
Been here since 8am, have finished archiving emails, re-writing my messy address book, ate my cup noodles, tv is on, nothing much to watch, got cable but only those news channels so not very helpful either. Received one phonecall that is some weird cheena recorded message, so i just hang up. Normally wouldn't log in at work, but i've got 4more hours to go.....so might as well do something.
Couple of nights ago, I again had a damn weird dream. Wanted to blog about it but couldn't find time till now.
I dreamt me and at least 2 others (faceless in the dream, not sure who) were leaving my ex-collg house warming gathering. Instead of taking the lift, we took the stairs instead. As we got nearer to ground level, the look of the flats started to change, from very new, pleasant looking clean flats to dunk and musty, dark looking staircase landings and old old wooden doors. Remember feeling rather un-nerved in the dream so made haste down the stairs.
Finally got to the last series of steps and it ended with a door. When i opened the door, i saw before me a huge room, kinda like below me, in a huge pit sort of. And the best part is, this room is full of pple, it's actually a casino!!! And there were no steps to get down to it, so instead you gotta kinda take a leap and sort of glide weightless over the people's heads and land somewhere near the front glass doors. Then the dream ended or at least that's what i can recall. Haaa...Dam weird.
February 04, 2008
February 02, 2008
As for bonus, at least i got some, but pardon me for appearing ungrateful for i feel that the 'cost' personally for me is too high. So that's why i don't feel the least bit ecstatic. Haiz.....how to make things better? I think there are pple who, unlike me, are totally stress-free and they are oblivious to the stress/extra load that the pple around them have to bear to compensate for their perpetual ignorance-is-bliss state.
To quote an ex-teacher, i feel abit like i'm 'caught between the devil and the deep blue sea'. Of course, being a diver, i'd choose the deep blue sea. Think it's time for a trip soon. I need to block out this world even for just a little while. Thank goodness for the wkend!
January 31, 2008
January 26, 2008
The week was further marred by the re-emergence of an old health problem that is like a stumbling block that drags me down. Just when i think i'm getting better it rears it's ugly head. It's frustrating and I only wish there was a quick fix solution to make it go away for good. I don't think quitting is a solution and the only thing is to try to 'take things easy'. well as we all know that is easier said than done and character wise, I don't think i can do it la, i'm abit more 'im-cheem' and proud to act an idiot at work, i already have to handle my fair share of those dudes.
*yawn*.....i'm just back from my slowest 20 lap swim ever...trying to exercise and soak in some sun while not jacking up the heartrate. I think being under flourescent lighting and facing 4 radiation-emitting screens all day is making me look rather pale and greenish. So today was good, at least i think i got some colour back...
January 20, 2008
January 08, 2008
January 04, 2008
trying to adjust back to the humidity with my nose blocked and fighting jet lag, been staring my computer for the past 2hours while stealing glances at my comfy bed (eyeballs aching from the multi tasking)...but noooo...gotta tahan till tonite.
Tis was a rather chill out (10-15degrees weather) trip with quite abit of shopping n eating thrown in for good measure. I even ambitiously brought my running shoes which i got to use all of ONCE in the 3 weeks..heh...ok ok maybe twice...2nd time coz i used it to go up bear mountain to go tube-bing...quite fun. For the most part the daily most challenging thing i had to do was figure out when to brave the temperature n take a shower. Now that i'm back to a brand new year...gotta start planning things to look fwd to eh? kaleebso? when??????? safari when???? strike lottery when????
Merry xmas n a happy new 2008 everyone. Huat ah! =)